- Ravi Chakrabarti: What's a "Fillmore-graves brain tube thing?"
- Major Lilywhite: It's like a yogurt tube full of mashed-up brains. No personalities. No visions. I'm pretty psyched to try it.
- Olivia Moore: No, no, no, no! If they wanna eat brain mash, let them eat brain mash. But in this house, we eat whole brains and we solve murders.
- Clive Babineaux: [Major is trying to choose between brains] You should eat the daughter. Words I never thought I'd hear myself say.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: The new normal.
- Clive Babineaux: God, I hope not
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Peyton left me a message saying she wants to talk.
- Major Lilywhite: She wants to "talk"? What does that even mean?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: ...Well, I'm fairly certain it means she wants to talk.
- Major Lilywhite: Okay, is she the single most selfish person on the planet? She literally made you Eskimo brothers with Satan. She doesn't deserve face time with you.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: She doesn't?
- Major Lilywhite: She slept with Blaine, which, first of all, ew, and second of all, I can't even.
- Wally Reid: Is that mustache real?
- Clive Babineaux: No, I glued it to give myself more authority in situations like this.
- Wally Reid: Well, you look like black Tony stark
- Clive Babineaux: What happened to your arm?
- Wally Reid: Fighting off the ladies. You know how it is.
- [Gives him a look over]
- Wally Reid: Or maybe you don't.