GLOW (TV Series)
This Is One of Those Moments (2017)
Betty Gilpin: Debbie Eagan
Photos
Quotes
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Debbie : You need to hire someone else, someone without rage issues.
Sam Sylvia : One's too hot, one's too cold. Goldilocks, why are you fighting the inevitable?
Debbie : Because she fucked my husband!
Sam Sylvia : Oh, so what? That's life. Get over it already. You still have to wake up and be a professional. You can't just go out and do coke and piss away all your money and screw people who are named after liqueurs. I mean, what happens then?
Debbie : You end up here?
Sam Sylvia : You end up here.
Debbie : Okay, well, I am trying to make the best of a bad situation. I mean, how much worse can it get?
Sam Sylvia : Worse? You're young, you're working. I mean, shut the fuck up,
Debbie : I could be at home with my baby.
Sam Sylvia : Oh, my God! Not this again. Please. Babies are boring. I mean, they don't party, they haven't traveled, they have no sense of irony. And you love this shit. You love being a temperamental star. I know you do. If you were sitting at home with that kid, your life would become just anger and resentment. No work, no husband. You would burn up in a smoldering ash heap of rage and disappointment. You think that's good for you or your boring baby? It's not. Look. Ruth is the right match for you.
Debbie : Sam.
Sam Sylvia : Because one, she's actually talented, and two, she's gonna make you look great. Hate her all you want.
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Ruth : [Russian accent] Morning, comrade. Ow, ow, ow.
[Ruth puts down her glass of hot tea]
Ruth : [Russian accent] This is how we drink tea in Russia. With pain.
Sam Sylvia : Okay, can you stop with the accent? It's a little, a little early for that.
Ruth : [Russian accent] It's never too early to be in character.
Sam Sylvia : Well, yes, it is.
Ruth : What do Russians have against mugs?
Sam Sylvia : Well, you need the metal thing. There's a metal thing with a handle that the cup goes into.
Ruth : How do you know that?
Sam Sylvia : I used to date a Russian woman. Yana Popov. Like the vodka. No relation. But she didn't get along with my dog, and she had a, a weird mole.
Ruth : So, why am I here early?
[Debbie walks in the gym and accidentally knocks over the glass of tea]
Debbie : What the fuck? Why is that here?
Ruth : It was too hot. I'll get paper towels.
[Ruth grabs the glass and runs to the restroom]
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Debbie : You drag me here at the ass-crack of dawn...
Sam Sylvia : It's early morning. It's nice. It's... it's quiet.
Debbie : Look, I have tolerated her being here because I, uh... well, I actually enjoy watching you make her feel like shit, but we have an unspoken rule that we stay as far away from each other as possible.
Sam Sylvia : All right, well, it's time to break that rule. You said, 'Find me a great heel.' And she's a perfect heel for your face.
Debbie : Sam, I am not working with her.
Sam Sylvia : You are a bright shining star. She is a dirty, nasty, stepped-in-dog-shit heel.
[Ruth runs back in the gym with paper towels to clean the spilled tea]
Sam Sylvia : You are USA. She's Soviet Union. It's the title card for the pilot. It's the main event, Debbie.
Ruth : [Russian accent] In Soviet Union, we clean with rubles and hide paper towels under mattress.
[pause]
Ruth : Nothing? That was solid.
Sam Sylvia : She was killing the other day with that. All right? I, I swear.
[looks at Ruth]
Sam Sylvia : Do the thing I like.
[Ruth gets up]
Ruth : [Russian accent] I am Zoya... the Destroya! You are weak capitalist dog. I am noble Soviet bear!
[pause]
Sam Sylvia : Okay. Do it in the ring. It'll look better up there.
Ruth : Okay.
[Ruth runs in the ring]
Sam Sylvia : This way, you can see what she can do. All right? Just watch, Debbie. Watch.
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Ruth : So, I've been working on these opening moves called...
[Russian accent]
Ruth : 'the hammer and sickle'.
[pause]
Ruth : I'll just show you. I'll just show you. Um... So it's
[Russian accent]
Ruth : the hammer! I start with a body slam. You get back up, and then I sickle your feet so you... you...
[falls to the mat]
Ruth : [Russian accent] And then I get you here. I got you in a hammerlock. Ahh! Ahh! You get up, you turn it around on me. You lock it up, and you think you got me, but then, I come back around with the soon-to-be-famous 'rough toilet paper!' Ahh! And then, you know, it's fight, fight, fight. I'm bad, you're good. I'm winning.
[punch and knee]
Ruth : [Russian accent] You're winning.
[pulls her own hair and rolls forward before dragging herself backwards]
Ruth : [Russian accent] Oh, step off! She's still got me! Oh, you stupid American swine!
[rolls and gets up]
Ruth : [Russian accent] You think you're getting away, but then, I get you by your hair. Ahh! I spin you around and I set you up for 'the bread line.'
[rolls to the ground]
Ruth : [Russian accent] Ohh! I get you up again for 'the potato soup.' Eat it!
[gets up and headbutts the turnbuckle]
Ruth : Oh! Oh! Still working on the names.
[Russian accent]
Ruth : And then, you know, I still... I've got you by the hair and big finish.
[simulates a piledriver]
Ruth : [Russian accent] 'Vodka for breakfast!'
[pause]
Ruth : But then, of course, you would come back and defeat me with some all-American and awesome, because you're... blonde.
Sam Sylvia : Wow! See? She's the best villain we have. It's everything you need.
Debbie : I think we can do better.
[Debbie walks away]
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Ruth : [Yiddish accent] Shalom, everyone! Shalom! Mazel, mazel! I am Gittel, the Orthodox Warrior! It's all about the Jews now.
Melanie Rosen : What the fuck is this?
Ruth : [Yiddish accent] I will beat you with a chicken. I will lock you up with my completely covered legs and guilt you into submission.
Sam Sylvia : What now?
Ruth : It's my new character. See... Look, you're right, you're right. If Russia can't go to war with America, what's the point? Right? So, I'm gonna take...
[points at Arthie]
Ruth : the terrorist, and we are gonna kill. I'm gonna... I'm gonna build settlements all over your ass, and then you're gonna try to blow me up, but it won't work because I'm too clever and thrifty. And then I'll just... Like I'll enter the ring with 17 children who have those little curls and... Oh God! It's gonna be great! I mean, uh, don't get me wrong. I love the Russians. I love the Russians. Could have gone all the way with the Russians, who are... They're pretty big Streisand fans, by the way. But then again, who isn't? I gotta adjust. So, it's all about going with the flow. Just... Come on, bitch. Watch me drop some Talmud on your head.
Arthie Premkumar : Um...
Melanie Rosen : You don't...
Arthie Premkumar : I, I've been working on stuff with Melrose.
[frustrated look on Ruth's face]
Ruth : What am I supposed to do?
[pause]
Debbie : [Southern accent] Typical whiny Soviet.
[Debbie drops ice pack and heads down to the ring]
Debbie : [Southern accent] 'What should I do? I'm so cold, so I only dress in gray and build things out of cinder block.' Lousy Commies. You think your nukes are so big? Wait till you get a load of our warheads. Because this is the greatest country on Earth, and I am willing to fight for it.
Sam Sylvia : Yeah.
Debbie : Let's go, you dirty Russian.
