GLOW (TV Series)

Slouch. Submit. (2017)

Jackie Tohn: Melanie Rosen

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Melrose sits on the top turnbuckle] 

  Melanie Rosen : Adrian! Hey yo, Adrian!

  Sam Sylvia : Rocky! Get down from there. That's right. I came back. Don't all applaud at once.

  [the ladies stand in position in the ring] 

  Sam Sylvia : Okay. Light of day. Who'd I hire? Who are you people?

  [removes jacket] 

  Sam Sylvia : All right. Coming in.

  [Sam enters the ring and nearly loses his balance] 

  Sam Sylvia : Why don't we do this: When I point at you, you tell me your name, and if you have any... special skills or hidden talents, favorite sex positions. All right, who wants to go first?

  [Melrose clears her throat and waves at Sam] 

  Sam Sylvia : Yes, underwear-as-outerwear girl. Hit me.

  [Melrose approaches Sam] 

  Melanie Rosen : Hi, I'm Melanie Rose. Call me Melrose. And my special skill is that I'm not fucking boring. Like, I can wake up in the morning with absolutely nothing to do, and just be in a Van Halen video by the end of the day. Um... Oh, also, uh... Any position with my legs over my head.

  Sam Sylvia : Okay. I dig it. I like the whole 'please objectify me' vibe.

  Melanie Rosen : Thank you.

  Sam Sylvia : Tremendous.

  [Melrose walks back to the corner of the ring] 

  Sam Sylvia : Wolf lady, what's your story?

  Sheila the She-Wolf : Sheila. Sheila. And... I have a very acute sense of smell.

  Sam Sylvia : Yeah? What cologne am I wearing?

  Sheila the She-Wolf : Drakkar Noir.

  Sam Sylvia : Trick question. Not wearing cologne. But I do spray that on my clothes if I forget to do laundry, so you get points for that. Good job.

  Sheila the She-Wolf : Yeah. I love points.

• [Sam enters the locker room and opens up several lockers to look for something. Cherry then enters the room] 

  Cherry Bang : Honey, you still doing blow?

  Sam Sylvia : What? No. I'm just, uh... checking driver's licenses. You know, women lie about their age all the time.

  Cherry Bang : What happened to that coach?

  Sam Sylvia : I fired him.

  Cherry Bang : What? You fired the only guy with any wrestling experience?

  Sam Sylvia : Look, I just don't want to make a dumb wrestling show. I don't wanna just take things out of the playbook, you know.

  Cherry Bang : You trying to fuck this up too?

  Sam Sylvia : Come on. I mean, I gave you another job, didn't I? I don't see a lot of directors out there giving you on-camera work.

  Cherry Bang : Oh, no. We both haven't worked in a while, so let's not get into a pissing contest. Look, we work good together, right? So let's just get back out there and deal with these amateurs you hired.

  Sam Sylvia : Okay, let's do that. Wanna?

  Melanie Rosen : Were you guys about to bone? I mean, I can pee in a bucket, I don't care.

  Cherry Bang : I'm married.

  Sam Sylvia : But... we did. 1978. It was me, her, and her husband.

  [looking at Cherry] 

  Sam Sylvia : What, you don't remember that?

  Cherry Bang : [looks at Melrose]  You need to pee? Pee.

  Melanie Rosen : Jeez.

  [Melrose enters a toilet stall] 

• Cherry Bang : Don't bring shit up like that, man.

  Sam Sylvia : What? History is a beautiful thing.

  [Sam opens a locker and grabs a bag] 

  Sam Sylvia : Oh! I haven't talked to you since the... you know, the... the whole...

  Cherry Bang : What?

  Sam Sylvia : Uh... womb goof.

  Cherry Bang : Miscarriage?

  Sam Sylvia : Yeah. I was trying to come up with a tactful euphemism.

  Melanie Rosen : I hear nothing. I'm not hearing anything.

  Cherry Bang : It was two years ago, and I'm fine. Again, can you keep my business to yourself?

  Sam Sylvia : Just trying to be sensitive.

  [Sam opens the bag and finds several script books, revealing the bag to be Ruth's] 

  Sam Sylvia : Oh, yes.

  Cherry Bang : What the hell are you up to?

  [Sam grabs Ruth's phone book] 

  Sam Sylvia : Hold on. Here we go. Okay.

  [Sam turns the pages and rips the one with Debbie's address before returning the book to the bag] 

  Sam Sylvia : I got my methods. Trust me.

  [as Sam walks out, Melrose exits the toilet stall] 

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, I trust him. Who doesn't trust a man with a mustache full of coke?

• [as the ladies practice their lockups, Melrose and Rhonda start singing] 

  Melanie Rosen , Rhonda Richardson : [singing]  Hold me now. Oh, oh, warm my heart. Stay with me. Let loving start, let loving start. Oh, hold me now...

  Cherry Bang : Some of us are trying to work.

  Melanie Rosen : They're slow dancing. They just fully did a spin.

  Reggie Walsh : Ow! That's not what we practiced.

  [Reggie carries Arthie to the corner] 

  Cherry Bang : All right, um...

  [points at Ruth] 

  Cherry Bang : You.

  [points at Melrose] 

  Cherry Bang : And you.

  Melanie Rosen : Oh.

  Cherry Bang : Let's see what you got.

  Melanie Rosen : Okay.

  [gets off the top turnbuckle] 

  Melanie Rosen : Come on, drama nerd. Hold me now.

  Ruth Wilder : Okay.

  [they get into a lockup] 

  Ruth Wilder : I think it's like this. And then I'm gonna spin around, and we're gonna put your arm around my neck.

  Melanie Rosen : Okay.

  [Ruth grabs Melrose's arm and turns around] 

  Ruth Wilder : Then here, like this...

  Melanie Rosen : And then just sort of, you know, like this...

  [Melrose starts grinding her hips against Ruth's back] 

• Cherry Bang : Melanie, do the moves.

  Melanie Rosen : Those are my moves, kid. I mean, they're the moves that got me cast in the porn dance party in Body Double.

  Ruth Wilder : Please, as if you worked with De Palma.

  Melanie Rosen : I did. So...

  [Melrose charges at Ruth, causing her to back up and hit the top turnbuckle with her arm] 

  Ruth Wilder : Ow!

  Cherry Bang : Strindberg, you okay?

  Ruth Wilder : I'm fine. I'm fine.

  Cherry Bang : [approaches Melrose]  What the fuck was that?

  Melanie Rosen : I took her by surprise. You know, to win. 'Cause that's the whole point of the whole thing.

  Cherry Bang : The point is to do it safely. You could've seriously hurt her.

  Ruth Wilder : It's all part of the process. Ah. Delayed pain.

  Cherry Bang : You know what? I don't have time to deal with spoiled little bitches who don't take anything seriously.

  Melanie Rosen : [chuckles]  You don't even know me.

  Cherry Bang : Oh, sweetie. I know you. You never had a real job. Your daddy pays all your bills, but you don't let anybody know unless you get really drunk. You drive a limo because you want someone, anyone, to think you're interesting. Tell me I'm wrong.

  [pause, then Cherry walks away] 

• Melanie Rosen : You got this job 'cause you fucked the director!

  [Cherry approaches Melrose] 

  Cherry Bang : I got this job because I'm a pro. And I know how to make these moves look real.

  Melanie Rosen : You think that this shit looks real? Ever get in a street fight, and you're like, 'Oh, careful for my neck, just make sure to do it safely'? It's fucking fake.

  Cherry Bang : Okay. Come at me. Make it look as real as you want.

  [the other ladies start to exit the ring] 

  Melanie Rosen : Okay.

  [Melrose stands in one corner, then does the crane kick pose and attempts to kick Cherry, but Cherry grabs her and locks her in a sleeper hold] 

  Melanie Rosen : Cherry... Cherry...

  [Cherry knocks her out] 

  Cherry Bang : That's lunch.

• [Ruth notices Melrose smoking] 

  Ruth Wilder : Umm... I don't think you're allowed to do that here.

  Melanie Rosen : Well, I need to chill the fuck out 'cause some crazy stunt-cunt just tried to murder me.

  Carmen Wade : That was a sleeper hold.

  Melanie Rosen : That was a lawsuit. Who does that bitch think she is? I mean, this morning, she was just another schmucky actress in a Kmart leotard. And now, she's going around, knocking people unconscious? Who died and made her the black Nurse Ratched?

  Carmen Wade : The director did. He said, 'She's in charge'.

  Melanie Rosen : The point is, I could've died.

  Rhonda Richardson : Maybe you did die. Maybe we're all dead and this is the afterlife.

  Ruth Wilder : Are you already high?

  Rhonda Richardson : No. No one passed it to me, and I've been waiting because I'm polite.

  Melanie Rosen : Oh.

  [Melrose hands her cigarette to Rhonda] 

  Rhonda Richardson : Thanks.

  Ruth Wilder : I think Cherry's doing the best she can.

  Melanie Rosen : Oh yeah? You big into dictators?

  Ruth Wilder : I don't know how things work in the music video world, but... at least she's trying to make us an ensemble. Usually, in this industry, it's every man for himself, and it's almost always a man telling you your ass is too fat at the same time he's trying to grope it. And having a woman in charge instead of that Sackballs guy? This is as good as it gets.

  Melanie Rosen : If you're so into the sisterhood, maybe you shouldn't have fucked your friend's husband.

  [pause] 

  Ruth Wilder : I didn't.

  Melanie Rosen : Dude... I am the Cézanne of bullshit artists.

  [Melrose gets up to get the lunch] 

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, that's us.

  [looks at Ruth] 

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, you owe me 20 bucks.

  [Melrose receives the lunch pack, then notices a bottle of ketchup and grabs it] 

  Melanie Rosen : Okay, ladies, back to the isle of Lesbos!

• Cherry Bang : All right. So, it goes a little something like this.

  [Cherry does a back bump] 

  Cherry Bang : It's like a belly flop, but on to your back. Let's give it a shot. Carmen, kick us off.

  [Carmen does a back bump] 

  Cherry Bang : Yes! I like it. All right, who's next?

  Melanie Rosen : [raises hand]  You know what? I'll try.

  Cherry Bang : All right.

  Melanie Rosen : Okay.

  [Melrose does a sloppy back bump] 

  Melanie Rosen : Shit, that was a disaster. Let me try again. I can do better.

  Cherry Bang : Okay.

  [Melrose does another sloppy back bump] 

  Melanie Rosen : Crap. I can do it better. Can I go one more time?

  Cherry Bang : You're fine.

  Melanie Rosen : No. I wanna push myself. I wanna work harder.

  Cherry Bang : Okay.

  [Melrose does a back bump, then suddenly writhes in pain] 

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, my fuck! No! Oh fuck! Oh...

  [Melrose sees blood on her hand] 

  Melanie Rosen : Oh my God! What is happening? I thought I might be pregnant. I put my body through too much trauma today. Fuck, this is so painful. Am I having a miscarriage?

  Arthie Premkumar : Okay. I'm pre-med. Are you cramping? Are you experiencing any other symptoms of pain?

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, fuck!

  [pulls out ketchup bottle] 

  Melanie Rosen : Bummer. How am I gonna tell Adam Ant that our precious little baby turned out to be a womb goof?

  Cherry Bang : Get the hell out of my ring.

  Melanie Rosen : De-fucking-lighted.

• Melanie Rosen : And then I said, 'Oh God, the Baby!' You know, 'What's happening to the baby?' And then, you know, I squirted ketchup out of my vagina.

  Sam Sylvia : That was terrible. I, I didn't buy a single second of that. But, let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Oh, sorry, maybe it was a wrong metaphor. Sorry. I think there's something here. Look, I know you were just being an asshole, but if this were a real scene, there would be context, there'd be circumstances, there'd be characters, right? Legacy?

  Carmen Wade : Um...

  Sam Sylvia : Al right. Let's get inside this thing. What happened? The miscarriage, was it an accident? Was it, was it bad sushi?

  Justine Biagi : She was kicked in the stomach by her Guatemalan swim coach who was jealous she lost her virginity to the captain of the diving team.

  Sam Sylvia : Wow. Good. Good. Kick in the stomach. I like that. Swim coach, I don't know. We can lose him. We need a better assailant. What animal would kick a pregnant woman in the belly? What kind of person would ruin the life of a gorgeous, successful, pregnant woman? What kind of homewrecker would do that?

  [Ruth tries to hide in the crowd] 

  Sam Sylvia : Ruth! This doesn't seem like too much of a stretch for you. Why don't you come in the ring? Join us.

  Ruth Wilder : I want to, but I'm really not feeling well.

  Sam Sylvia : You know, Gene Kelly had the flu when he did the title number of Singin' in the Rain.

  Ruth Wilder : It's true, he did.

  [Ruth gets up and approaches the ring] 

  Sam Sylvia : Look at this asshole. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's gonna destroy lives. Even tiny lives that haven't started yet. You're a horrible person, and you don't deserve to live.

  Ruth Wilder : I think I deserve to live.

  Sam Sylvia : Hey, Uta Hagen. All right, take some fucking direction for a minute. All right, is that too much to ask? It's not about you. I'm trying to see if this skit works. Now circle the other one.

  [Ruth and Melrose circle each other] 

  Sam Sylvia : Okay, good. Okay, shit-stirrer. Let's work on your side. Because if there's one thing I've learned in my illustrious career, it's that you can't rely on a blood rig to sell a performance. Who are you? What kind of woman were you before you lost everything?

  Melanie Rosen : I feel like I was the kind of...

  Sam Sylvia : Wait, I got it. You're smart. You're ambitious. Talented. But nobody sees that. All they see is the blonde knockout.

  Melanie Rosen : Yeah, but I'm not blonde.

  Sam Sylvia : All right, shut the fuck up.

  Melanie Rosen : Okay.

  Stacey Beswick : I think he's talking about me.

  Dawn Rivecca : [pointing at Debbie]  No. They're talking about her.

  Stacey Beswick : That makes sense.

• Sam Sylvia : Now, here you are. You're ripe. Fecund. A custodian of new life. You're a... you're a fertile harvest goddess. Now... pull your shoulders back, and, and strut like you own the ring.

  [Melrose starts skipping] 

  Sam Sylvia : What is that?

  Melanie Rosen : Oh, I added...

  Sam Sylvia : I said strut, like you own the ring.

  Melanie Rosen : Yeah, but...

  Sam Sylvia : No. That's like a saunter. All right. Okay. Now stick your belly out a little bit. You're pregnant. Everything is fine. Everything is ideal. Until... the Homewrecker arrives. She has nothing. No man, no love, no friends. Her hair is brown, the color of shit.

  [disgusted look on Ruth's face] 

  Sam Sylvia : All right. Now lunge and miss. Wake up, Ruth! Time to act. Lunge and miss.

  [Ruth lunges toward Melrose, but Melrose dodges her] 

  Sam Sylvia : Yes. Great. Now it's time for the big move. You're gonna kick her in the stomach, set off a miscarriage that will ruin not one life, not two lives, but three lives in the process. Let's go! Kick! It's like a punch with your leg.

  Ruth Wilder : Can I do the lockup instead, where I hug her?

  Sam Sylvia : Oh my God. No. Kick!

  [Ruth barely kicks Melrose, who hurls herself to the ropes] 

  Sam Sylvia : Yeah. Give words to the pain.

  Melanie Rosen : Oh my God, it hurts! Fuck! Am I having a miscarriage? Ah! Oh no! Oh no! Am I bleeding?

  Sam Sylvia : All right, give me the ketchup bottle.

  Melanie Rosen : I feel like I'm bleeding! Oh, someone help!

  Sam Sylvia : Since we're not making Apocalypse now, let's add a little fun back in.

  [Sam squirts ketchup on Melrose's crotch, then all over Ruth] 

  Sam Sylvia : Yeah. Now that is a fuckin' miscarriage.

  [Ruth steps out of the ring in disgust while Cherry gets up and leaves and Debbie smiles]