Seth Rogen credited as playing...
Pumbaa
- Pumbaa: I missed 'em, I'm gonna get one of those vultures one day; I'm gonna get one!
- Timon: I don't know why it's so important to you.
- Pumbaa: I just feel like it would make me feel better.
- [gasps]
- Pumbaa: Oh no, it's a little lion!
- Timon: That is not a lion.
- Pumbaa: Well then, go check it out; what is it?
- Timon: That is not a lion, it's a furry bird.
- Pumbaa: It looks like a lion.
- Timon: It's not a li--let me get a closer look, excuse me.
- [huffs]
- Timon: All right, let me see what we're dealing with here.
- [alarmed]
- Timon: It's a lion! Run for your life, Pumbaa!
- Pumbaa: Wait, hey, Timon, wait, wait, hey, Timon, it's a little lion!
- Timon: [hiding behind rock] It gets bigger.
- Pumbaa: Can we keep him, can we please keep him? Oh, oh, okay, I promise I'll walk him every day; if he makes a little mess, I'll clean it up!
- Timon: You'll be his little mess; he's gonna eat you and then use my body as a toothpick.
- Pumbaa: But one day when he's big and strong, he'll be on our side.
- Timon: I got it: what if he's on our side? Hear me out: having a ferocious lion around might not be a bad idea.
- Pumbaa: Well then, can we keep him?
- Timon: Yes, of course we can keep him! My God, who's the brains of this operation?
- Pumbaa: [singing] We're gonna name him Fred!
- Pumbaa: [the hyenas are body shaming Pumbaa causing him to react] I may run from hyenas, but I do not run from a bully!
- Timon: Pumbaa I think we lost them.
- Pumbaa: That was terrifying.
- Timon: Do you hear a low growl.
- Hyena: Looks like we'll be having pig for dinner. Plump and chubby.
- Pumbaa: Chubby? Did he just call me chubby?
- Timon: Uh-oh.
- Pumbaa: It sounded a lot like he just said "chubby". Which would be a mistake because... I will not be made to feel ashamed of who I am.
- Timon: Oh, boy.
- Pumbaa: I may run from hyenas... but I will always fight a bully
- Timon: [rubbing Pumbaa's head] You feel better Pumbaa?
- Pumbaa: I do.
- Timon: You got that out of your system?
- Pumbaa: I did.
- Timon: [about the hyenas] what's your plan for getting us past the slobbering guards?
- Simba: Live bait.
- [He, Nala and Zazu look at Pumbaa]
- Pumbaa: That's a great idea. Those guys could never resist fresh meat! So all we need to do is find something that's like big, plump, and juicy, maybe like a gnu...
- [They all continue to stare blankly at him]
- Pumbaa: why's everyone looking at me?
- Timon: [Shenzi's clan are paying attention to Timon and Pumbaa who is set up like a roast pig] Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we proudly present your dinner! Be... our - GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
- [they flew before the clan of hunger mad hyenas]
- Pumbaa: [referring to the stars] Hey, Timon. Do you ever look up there and wonder what those sparkly dots are?
- Timon: Oh, Pumbaa. I don't wonder. I know.
- Pumbaa: Really? What are they?
- Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that got stuck on that big bluish-black thing.
- Pumbaa: Oh, I guess that makes sense. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
- Timon: Oh, Pumbaa, why is everything always gas with you?
- Pumbaa: I know.
- Timon: What do you think, Simba?
- Pumbaa: Yeah.
- Simba: Oh, I don't know. But somebody once told me, the great kings of the past are up there. And they're all watching over us.
- [Timon and Pumbaa start laughing]
- Pumbaa: That's a good one! That's insane! That's insane!
- Timon: Royal dead guys watching over us! Well, I hope they don't fall out of the sky!
- Pumbaa: Hang on, your majesty! Don't let go!
- Timon: Oh, that would be a mess.
- Pumbaa: Oh, man!
- Timon: I mean, Simba, think about it. Why would a bunch of kings be looking out for us? We're outcasts.
- Pumbaa: Royal warthogs.
- Timon: I can't!
- Timon: I can't!
- Pumbaa: I actually can't.
- Timon: I can't.
- Pumbaa: No, you can. I can't.
- [Timon laughs again]
- Simba: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's stupid I'm going to go get some grubs or something
- [looking sad, Simba gets up and leaves]
- Timon: What did you say to him?
- Pumbaa: I don't know.
- Timon: As you were saying it, I thought, "This won't end well" you just start laughing.
- Pumbaa: You laughed too.
- Timon: I did not. I would never.
- Pumbaa: Man, I blew it.
- Simba: [referring to the impala running away from him] What's up with that guy?
- Timon: Uh, Simba, How can I say this? He's prey.
- Pumbaa: Yeah
- Timon: And he is never going to want to frolic with a carnivore.
- Pumbaa: No. You two will never frolic.
- Simba: Why not?
- Timon: You see in nature, there's a delicate balance.
- Simba: Oh yeah. The circle of life. I know that.
- Pumbaa: No.
- Timon: No, no, no. I don't know where you're getting "circle" from
- Pumbaa: No, yeah. There's no circle of life.
- Timon: No, it's no Circle.
- Pumbaa: No, not at all.
- Timon: In fact, it's the opposite.
- Pumbaa: Yeah.
- Timon: It's a line.
- Pumbaa: Yeah.
- Timon: It's a meaningless line of indifference.
- Pumbaa: And we're all just running towards the end of that line. Then one day we'll reach the end and that'll be it. That's it. Line over.
- Timon: Nothing.
- Pumbaa: Nada. And you can really just kind of Do Your own thing and fend for yourself, because you're line doesn't affect anyone else's line.
- Timon: You're alive and then you're not
- [eats an insect]
- Timon: like this guy. Mmm.
- Simba: You sure it's not a circle? that we're all connected?
- Pumbaa: A circle would mean we're all this. That would mean what I do affects him. affects that thing affects that thing.
- Timon: Yeah. No, that's not how it goes.
- Pumbaa: Which would make doing whatever we wanted not that cool.
- Timon: Let me simplify this for you. Life is meaningless.
- Pumbaa: Yes. that's why you just got to look out for yourself. That's why you do you, Simba.
- Timon: Yes Simba, for the first time, we're enrusting you to make a plan for us today
- Pumbaa: This is important, think about all you've been taught.
- Timon: What do you want to do?
- Simba: Absolutely nothing.
- Pumbaa: Exactly!
- Timon: Woo-hoo!
- Pumbaa: He gets it!
- Young Simba: [wakes up] Who are you?
- Timon: Um...
- Pumbaa: Uhhhh...
- Timon: We're the guys who saved your life. Risked everything. Fought off angry vultures.
- Pumbaa: Hordes of them, flocks. I'm Pumbaa. This is Timon.
- Timon: Did I mention that we've saved your life?
- Young Simba: It doesn't matter anyway.
- [heads off quietly back out towards the desert and sits down]
- Pumbaa: Whoa. How bleak is that? "Doesn't even matter"?
- Timon: [sighs] Like I don't have enough that I'm dealing with. His problems are my problems.
- Pumbaa: We can help him, we're in a position to help him
- Timon: Uhhhh.
- [to Simba]
- Timon: So? How are you in as few words as possible?
- Young Simba: I did something terrible. But I don't wanna talk about it.
- Pumbaa: Look, kid. We all make mistakes. There must be something we can do, right?
- Young Simba: Not unless you can change the past.
- Timon: Well, you know, that's a lot to ask. If I'm being honest...
- Pumbaa: That's a biggie.
- Timon: ...you can't change the past that's already happened. But you know what you can change? The future! That's our specialty...
- Young Simba: How can you change something that hasn't happened?
- Timon: Well, to change the future, you gotta put your past behind you.
- Pumbaa: Way behind.
- Timon: Look, kid. Bad things happen and you can't do anything about it, right?
- Young Simba: Right.
- Timon: WRONG! When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world!
- Pumbaa: And only embrace what's next.
- Timon: And turn the "What?" into "So, what!"
- Young Simba: Well, that's not what I was taught.
- Timon: Then maybe you need a new lesson. Repeat after me, kid. Hakuna Matata!
- Young Simba: [confused] What?
- Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata!
- Timon: Hakuna Matata.
- Pumbaa: Hakuna... most people get a bigger reaction when we say it! Ha-ku-na Ma-ta-ta. It means "no worries." One, and a...
- Timon: [interrupting] Okay. I do the counting.
- Pumbaa: I wanna count!
- Timon: Why don't we count together?
- Pumbaa: Okay. That's a good idea.
- Timon: All right.
- Timon: [Timon and Pumbaa reveal Simba a gorgeous rift-jungle panorama: waterfalls, woods, distant mountains, lush lakes and rivers] Welcome to our humble home.
- Young Simba: You live here?
- Timon: Well, we live wherever we want.
- Pumbaa: We do as we please.
- Young Simba: It's beautiful!
- Pumbaa: That's really nice, huh?
- Timon: Everyone, this is Simba!
- Guinea Fowl: That, my friend, is a lion!
- Bush Baby: What 'bout food? Have you thought 'bout feeding that thing?
- Young Simba: Yeah, I'm starved. I could eat a whole zebra.
- Timon: [under his breath] Oh, here we go.
- [to Simba]
- Timon: Uh, no-no-no, kid. Uh, we're fresh out of zebra.
- Young Simba: Any antelope?
- Impala: Uh-oh.
- Timon: No, listen, kid. If you want to live with us, you have to eat like us.
- Guinea Fowl: And most importantly: not eat us
- Timon: This looks like a good spot to rustle up some grub.
- [Stopping in front of a log, Pumbaa forces it up with his snout, revealing many insects]
- Young Simba: [disgusted] Ewww. What's that?
- Elephant Shrew: This one's got the nuttiness.
- Timon: Mmmm... now that's what I call slimy.
- Pumbaa: [slurps up dozen of the bugs] Slimy, yet satisfying.
- Timon: Mmmm! Extra crunchy.
- Pumbaa: They're local.
- Timon: Oh, are they?
- Pumbaa: They're from right there.
- Timon: I'm tellin' ya, kid, this is the great life. No rules. No responsibilities.
- [notices a nearby caterpillar]
- Timon: Oooh! The little cream-filled kind! I love it!
- Pumbaa: Those are good. Those are the best.
- Timon: [offers the caterpillar to Simba] Well, kid?
- Young Simba: Oh, well. Hakuna Matata.
- [gulps up the caterpillar, then swallows it indisposed, he yet looks more cheerful]
- Young Simba: Slimy, yet satisfying
- Timon: [excited] That's it!