- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: It's for Professor Mayakovsky.
- Librarian Student: It was destroyed by other books. "Future Movements of Magic" was written by a Polish scientist who happened to be a-...
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: What?
- Librarian Student: Jew. So the eugenics books came for it. I'm really sorry. They've been put in the restricted section with the other anti-Semitic texts.
- Eliot Waugh: To our little thievery corporation.
- Margo Hanson: [to Julia] P.S. We still hate you. but it's the twenty-first century. It shouldn't be this hard for a girl to get an evil demigod abortion.
- Eliot Waugh: And we're emotionally advanced. We can hold resentment and sympathy for a person at the same time.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: They can't see me. I'm not technically here. I'm incepting your ass. Your head. Your dreams. You're still asleep in Fillory, remember?
- Eliot Waugh: That is overly complicated.
- Alice Quinn: Are you ready to let me out of that hairy back of yours? 'Cause I'm never gonna stop. And sooner or later, one of these dummies are gonna call the brain police, and you got priors.
- The Mudang: I will exorcise the trickster for you... After you pay.
- [Hands a slip]
- Julia Wicker: One *million* dollars?
- The Mudang: In gold. Paper money is for drug dealers and idiots.
- Tick Pickwick: Our preparation is affected by the continued unsteadiness of the Wellspring.
- Margo Hanson: Okay, well, we've got literally every engineer in the kingdom working to de-shit-inate the Wellspring. Gonna invent the guillotine in a hot second if they don't get their shit together.
- Professor Lipson: Have you seen the "Twilight" movies? Specifically the last one?
- Julia Wicker: No.
- Professor Lipson: Huh. That's probably for the best. Your problems extend beyond your uterus. The fetus' élan vital is entangled with your soul. I mean, I have read about this, but I've I've never seen it in person. You will need to find a Mudang. It's their area.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Yeah, we did. She was expensive.
- Professor Lipson: Yeah, tell me about it. I've been trying to get one on staff for years.
- Eliot Waugh: We're at war. Also, Fillory is seriously, dangerously, stone-cold broke.
- Quentin Coldwater: Wait, how is that even possible? The Nugget Beetles of the Outer Islands, they literally shit precious stones.
- Margo Hanson: Going extinct, apparently. Ember shitting in the power grid really screwed us in a cornucopia of ways.
- Eliot Waugh: And before you ask, yes, every alchemist in history is a lying, cheating illusionist.
- Margo Hanson: Once we nab prints and drop the wards, you travel straight in.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: You really don't think a bank vault, of all places, has anti-traveler protection?
- Margo Hanson: Oh, they do. The entire floor of the vault is one big anti-traveling sigil. You get locked in till you run out of air.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Yeah. Pass. I like air.
- Margo Hanson: Relax, dummy. You only get stuck if you hit the floor.
- Quentin Coldwater: Oh, so it's like "Mission: Impossible".
- Eliot Waugh: That movie was stupidly unrealistic. It's so much easier to just levitate.
- Julia Wicker: You can abort it, right?
- The Mudang: This is exorcism. That thing is not human. The longer it's inside you, the more tangled it gets with your essence and the harder it is for me to help.
- Quentin Coldwater: Jules, I don't know what to say.
- Julia Wicker: Say what you're thinking. That I'm cursed. Must've been a serial killer in a past life.
- Alice Quinn: [Only visible to Quentin] Yeah, raise your hand if she's the reason that you fucking exploded in *this* life.
- Quentin Coldwater: [to Julia] I'm sorry for everything that's happened.
- Alice Quinn: Yeah, speak for yourself.
- The Mudang: This is very old magic. You bring to life using old, abandoned things, like this wooden spoon and menstrual blood. Probably Moon's. These creatures are mercenaries. They won't stop. You kill one, another one grows in its place. Very fucked up.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Why the hell would she do that?
- The Mudang: To kill your friend. I told Moon to relax, but she's all, "Baby's too evil. "It might hurt more people". She wants to play it safe and kill both spawn and mom together. She's so stupid. You won't pay if your friend is dead.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Listen, we are trying to get you the money, okay?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: If you want to get paid so fucking bad, tell her to call it off.
- The Mudang: Can't. She has a hundred spoons. Dokkaebi will not stop until trickster baby is dead, so you got two options. I can exorcise for you, or monster rips your friend's head off her neck. So hurry up with my gold.
- Alice Quinn: [to Quentin] And sooner or later, one of these dummies are gonna call the brain police, and you got priors.