- Aisha Tyler: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Pick-up lines on the golf course."
- Wayne Brady: [shaking Colin's hand] Hey. Just call me "Tiger".
- Ryan Stiles: Three strokes, and I'm in.
- Wayne Brady: [to Greg] Damn girl, you like it rough.
- Greg Proops: Try to work your way out of my bunker.
- Wayne Brady: [hesitantly] With my... nine iron?
- [Aisha buzzes]
- Wayne Brady: I know nothing about golf!
- Ryan Stiles: Really?
- Colin Mochrie: Shocking!
- Wayne Brady: Shut up!
- Colin Mochrie: Ever experienced a hole-in-one?
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: I don't know what it means either.
- Wayne Brady: [enters] Would you like to see my penis?
- Aisha Tyler: [buzzes] Get outta there! Get out of there!
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Themed Restaurant", the subject being Tom Hanks movies]
- [as a waiter]
- Colin Mochrie: The fish special. It made quite the "Splash".
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Themed Restaurant", the subject being Tom Hanks movies]
- [as a waiter]
- Colin Mochrie: Some oysters. That'll give you a Woody.