- Sylvia the Reporter: Miss Davis, care to comment on the fact that Miss Crawford says you look old enough to be her mother?
- Bette Davis: What's your name, sweetheart?
- Sylvia the Reporter: Sylvia.
- Bette Davis: Fuck off, Sylvia.
- Jack Warner: [on seeing Joan and Bette acting like friends] I haven't seen this much shit since my last bowel movement
- Robert Aldrich: What year was that?
- Harriet Aldrich: I think you'd be happy that both your stars are getting along.
- Robert Aldrich: They're not getting along - they're teaming up. It's like the Hitler-Stalin pact.
- Mamacita: The crew is abuzz.
- Joan Crawford: About my performance?
- Mamacita: About their relationship. Apparently, they've been working on her themes all weekend long.
- Hedda Hopper: I want this young man to bear witness. He should know whose carcass it is he's been handling and just how many others in this town could identify it in the dark. That column has already been written. "Joan Crawford's Early, Tawdry Years." And it's been locked away in my desk drawer since 1946, the last time you went to Louella behind my back.
- Joan Crawford: Oh, I told you, then, Hedda, I didn't go to Louella about my divorce from Philip. No, she came to me.
- Hedda Hopper: And you confirmed it. And after I gave you your career back. Box Office Poison. That's what they called her until I started promoting her in my column because I felt sorry for her.
- Joan Crawford: Well, she is right about that. When I was down on my luck, Hedda is the only person in this Christless town to extend a hand in friendship, to show some human decency. She didn't have to, and I have always been truly grateful to her for doing it, truly, truly grateful.
- Hedda Hopper: Well, then why would you go to my mortal enemy?
- Joan Crawford: Because it was the only way I could get your attention.