CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #529
Sometimes I begin writing a vanity card with no idea what I'm writing about. I don't recommend this. What usually happens is I wind up with a collection of sentences that have a vague linear trajectory, but no real purpose. In some ways it's like all the high school and college essay exams where I purposely tried to hide my lack of preparation behind a voluminous cascade of impressive sounding words. My theory was that a thick stack of single-spaced, purple prose would be so off-putting to the teacher, he or she would slap a 'C' on the paper in order to avoid wading through a lot of cursive bull$#!+. Needless to say, the short, succinct style of these vanity cards forestalls that exact approach, but I am hopeful it still has the power to distract. Sonorous fodder like, "vague linear trajectory," "voluminous cascade," "forestall," and "sonorous fodder" are all used to just that end. Which raises the question: Why? What compels me to obfuscate? Sadly, I have no good answer. I do have a bad one. I take a childish delight in wasting your time. I know that's setting the bar pretty low, but keep in mind, at an early age I was happy to get a 'C'.