Roundhouse (TV Series)

Politics (1992)

Dominic Lucero: Various

Quotes 

• Various : In Man's early days on Earth, there were no real laws. People were usually told what to do by the toughest guy with the biggest club.

  Caveman : [raising a huge club]  Bring me some food or I'll club ya!

  [crowd squeals and pantomimes giving all their food hurriedly to Dominic, who laughs and pantomimes eating all their food] 

  Various : This came to be known as The Diner's Club. As civilization progressed, the leader became known as the king, but still he usually was the toughest guy with the biggest club.

  [Mark and Seymour step forward before Dominic] 

  Caveman : Give me money or I'll club ya!

  Various : I refuse.

  Various : So do I.

  [Dominic clubs them and they fall unconscious] 

  Various : In those days, the king of clubs beat two of a kind.

• Reporter 1 : [seeking scandal]  Is it true that you partnered with Jordana Bartlett for CPR training in health class a while ago instead of with Hillary Grayson?

  Jeff Anykid : Well, yes. Hillary and I have already dealt with that issue. There's nothing between Jordana and myself.

  Reporter 2 : But didn't Jordana have to practice mouth to mouth on you?

  Jeff Anykid : Well, yes, that's true.

  [the reporters all gasp] 

  Jeff Anykid : But I didn't inhale!

  Reporter 1 : Jeff says Jordana sucks face with him but he did not suck back. Film at eleven.

  Reporter 2 : Candidate's lips are sealed to a woman other than his girlfriend. Film at eleven.