- Claire Dunphy: I can't wait to see this one without make up.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: It'll be the last thing you ever see.
- Manny Delgado: Throwing a party was a risk, but two exchange students just moved in.
- Luke Dunphy: And the best part is, they don't know how uncool we are.
- Manny Delgado: Yet.
- Cameron Tucker: [aside to camera] I don't know what it is, but Jay gets uncomfortable when it's just the two of us. And then I get uncomfortable, and I feel like I have to say something.
- [flashback]
- Cameron Tucker: [to Jay] Today's Hitler's birthday.
- Phil Dunphy: I don't know why, but I've never tried marijuana... People never offered it to me, which is weird because in college, I was kind of a big man on campus. I founded a major organization, the National Association of Responsible Cheerleaders.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Uh, NARCs.
- Phil Dunphy: Yeah.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Do we take seperate time streams?
- Phil Dunphy: If we want to get there yesterday.