Christmas with Cookie (2016) User Reviews

Bah humbug to Cookie!

[BandSAboutMovies · 1/10 · 14 December 2018]

If you want to hate Christmas with all the white hot fury of The Grinch crossed with someone who just got the jelly of the month club from Mr. Shirley, you should really descend into the horrific abyss that is the Christmas horror section on Amazon Prime. This movie is but one of the many bad decisions that you can make.

In the year 3978, global warming has made a desert of the North Pole, leading to Cookie, the last elf, to share his holiday story.

Santa and Mrs. Claus go to war with some angry skeletons who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas. Then, a bunch of grey and green aliens get involved, headling Santa's multiple injuries and an abominable snowman decides to eat jolly St. Nick. Every single person wears a mask, so they could just ADR the entire movie and not have to match up dialogue.

I learned from IMDB that the script for this movie never made it to a second draft. In fact, it started filming before the first draft was even finished. You can tell.

Blame falls on Alex Maxson, whose IMDB page tells is packed with a jack of all trades like resume. Supposedly he's going to be the right head of King Ghidorah in the new Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Good for him - but man, right now I want to beat the Festivus pole and air so many grievances as a result of this movie. Luckily, it was free with my Amazon Prime membership. If I had to pay for this, I may have lost my faith in Christmas.

Even someone like me, that adores Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei, could not bring himself to watch any more than this first film. Perhaps you are braver than me.

Dreadful would-be comedy with Santa, skeletons, aliens, and the Yeti

[Leofwine_draca · 1/10 · 8 March 2017]

Christmas WITH COOKIE is a sci fi/fantasy/horror spoof about a futuristic Santa Claus and his tribulations. It's posited as a comedy with a non-existent budget, and having just watched it, I'm still clueless as to what it was all about. It sees Santa and his wife doing battle against living skeletons, alien greys, and even the Yeti himself in a wide-reaching yet completely nonsensical storyline.

The film is narrated by an ugly elf creature living in outer space. The actor is doing his best Freddy Krueger impersonation but his wisecracks are dreadful. The skeletons are simply plastic toys while the aliens are people in masks. Half of the running time is made up of characters wandering around a desert landscape. The acting is very bad and the film is deeply unfunny. SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS this isn't!

The type of tiresome, boorish, dull amateur film-making that gives amateur film-making a bad name

[I_Ailurophile · 1/10 · 23 December 2023]

The basic premise is kind enough to inform that we're about to sit for a purely ludicrous, unserious romp, and it does sound promising enough that we might be curious to check it out. That curiosity has to be weighed against the fact that titles of this tenor in the 2010s and 2020s tend to be of a nature that makes excessive use of schlocky computer-generated imagery over practical effects and tangible creations, with bare-faced production values that are all but literally painful to behold, but that's a risk we as viewers can decide easily enough if we're willing to take. Unfortunately, despite the mix of horror, science fiction, and comedy that the concept portends, the latter portion of the equation is desperately missing, as is even the tiniest modicum of general Fun. From the very, very start filmmakers Alan Maxson and Shawn Schminke fill their flick with unremitting zest and bombast; it's "Go! Go! Go!" from the moment we press "play," with no sense of dynamics in which humor could flourish - let alone any wit or care that would foster that humor in the first place. To be very blunt, 'Christmas with Cookie' is an absolute, boring dud.

The same forceful, driving ethos of "Check this out! Hey, this is good, right?! Hey, look at me!" applies to everything in these thankfully brief fifty-one minutes: writing, direction, costume design, hair, makeup, acting, CGI, "art direction," props, music, and more. At the same time, this is extraordinarily low-budget to the point that all the above facets plainly betray the lack of available resources, extraordinarily low-grade to the point there was no actual discernible attempt made in any capacity, and so glaringly pristine in its image quality and sound design that all the astounding deficiencies ring clearly in our ears and are thrust directly in our face. The script inserts self-referential, self-deprecating meta quips as a substitute for any cleverness; Maxon himself, starring as both Cookie and Santa, demonstrates that he has no acting capability whatsoever by chewing scenery in the former role and using the exact same voice in the latter. Great guacamole, this is just rotten.

I've seen some amateur horror that was genuinely great. Lacking experience, developed skills, and resources are unfortunate, but are not truly a barrier to quality film-making and storytelling provided a movie is instead characterized by earnest effort, enthusiasm, and heart. Why, Nathan Cox and Archie Meyer's 2019 feature 'XIII' is one of the best "found footage" films I've ever seen; 1995 Japanese 'Evil dead' homage 'Bloody muscle body builder in hell' is a pure joy; much the same goes for Hawaiian 1991 title 'Slaughter day,' a fabulous homemade extravaganza of blood and gore. Maxson and Schminke, however, not only lacked experience, skills, and resources when making 'Christmas with Cookie,' they also lacked meaningful effort, real imagination, or any apparent concern for how the end result would look. Calling this 2016 rubbish an "amateur" endeavor is an insult to other amateur filmmakers who at least do the bare minimum and, you know, Try.

From the outside looking in the idea looks entertaining. It could have been, if anyone involved had bothered to apply themselves to the slightest degree. They did not, however, and in turn the viewing experience is senseless, and all but unwatchable from the moment it begins. To sit in front of our screen and continue suffering this dreck is an act of committed masochism for which we should be heavily compensated. Let us hope that Maxson, Schminke, and all others who contributed to this nightmare decide to remove themselves from the industry forevermore, and let us further hope that any site that houses this or their other works to stream make the humane decision to remove such abominations from their platform. 'Christmas with Cookie' is unfailingly terrible, dull, tiresome garbage, and no one should ever watch it.

It's not a bad watch for horror enthusiasts who love bad movies

[kevin_robbins · 3/10 · 9 December 2022]

Christmas with Cookie (2016) is a horror anthology of short stories currently available on Tubi. The stories include Santa and Mrs. Claus being attacked by zombies, an alien invasion of sorts and an epic final showdown of the Abominable Snowman vs Santa.

This movie is written, stars and is codirected by Alan Maxson and is also directed by Shawn Schminke. This movie also stars Justin Armao (Blood Sucka Jones), Breeanna Judy (The Eagle and the Albatross), Allie Rivera Quiñonez (Drake and Josh) and Noel Jason Scott (Blade the Iron Cross).

Believe it or not I liked Cookie, his makeup/mask and his narration all worked for me. The special effects, CGI and puppets are all ridiculous. Honestly any of us could have made this movie. The good thing is this movie doesn't take itself too seriously. The dialogue is funny and the aliens are definitely entertaining, especially the final few scenes.

Overall, this movie is absolutely terrible...but it's only an hour so it's not a bad watch for horror enthusiasts who love bad movies (like me). I'd score this a 3/10 and only recommend watching this with the appropriate expectations.

So cheap it's a classic!

[cekadah · 10/10 · 27 November 2016]

Low budget is a compliment for this movie. This flick is so cheap I bet the budget wouldn't have even bought a hot dog at 7-11!

And that is what makes this flick worth watching! It's low budget and it's silliness from start to finish. The cast seems to have enjoyed themselves. No one tried to be an actor! They took their roles for exactly what they are 'silly'. In other words it's the flicks consistency that makes it good.

The plot line involves the future year 3978, Cookie is on the moon reading this story to us, the north pole is a desert, aliens are flying around in pyramids, and along comes the Abominable Snowman. Actually I can't relate a plot line because the plot is mostly incomprehensible - but in good way!

If you are a fan of 'low end flicks', as I am, then 'Christmas with Cookie' is a must see.

unexpected in different ways, the director is one...

[godinamachine · 7/10 · 21 November 2023]

HEY EVERYONE ITS ME (4) !!! And today we review ...

well ...

something lol....

and let me start off by saying THIS, if you like campy cheesy on purpose films that know they are bad and embrace it ...then YUP this ones for you

SO this movie revolves around a evil elf on the moon reading you a story from a book .... he loves cookies and happens to be named cookie ....played by the director WHO i have to add plays alot of monsters regularly including mocapping king ghidorah in the american godzilla king of the monsters ....personally (and not sucking up here) ghidorah has always been my favorite godzilla character .... so to know such a top tier hollywood player making his own cheesy indie films is REALLY cool ...

it helps indie film makers like me have a bit of hope lol....

this films evil elf book reading scenes are really well lit, and shot ..... the rest of the film ....eh ... kind of rough lol.. terrible "cgi" and green screening .... REALLY bad acting but again this film KNOWS what its doing and just letting loose .... i mean the skeletons are ... not even trying to act .... lol...

i REALLY hope to see alot more of these films i do like the second film better however in how they had "cookie" doing voice over during the film and a little less cut scenes to him ...it helped the film move along a bit .... but this one is a great introduction to him and the franchise ...

an easy 7/10 .......

Campy, corny and really quite fun!

[wookieecantina · 10/10 · 11 April 2017]

On the 'So Bad It's terrific Scale', yep, it's a 10! Honestly, it's difficult to watch at first, but once you warm up to this corny, funny film, you really begin to appreciate it for exactly what it is. This crew set out to create a film which by comparison, makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Gone With The Wind. That was their goal and to their credit, that's exactly what they did. Cookie sounds rather Yoda-like, but Hell, who cares! It's funny on multiple levels. Cinema needs young filmmakers who aren't afraid to have fun, push the limits of acceptability and work with their friends on low budget productions like this, where fun and camp wins out over high-end production value. We received our copy while standing in line at Monsterpalooza in Pasadena and I honestly couldn't think of a better, more appropriate way and means to be introduced to this production. Keep up the good (or bad) work, you guys nailed it.

The film was intended to be cheesy & funny.

[Signorsolomon-1 · 10/10 · 11 February 2017]

This film was made for fun, shoots, & giggles, nothing serious, but paying homage to films such as "Robot Monster"(1953) and "Plan 9 from Outer Space." (1959). It was intentionally ridiculous and corny.

Alan Maxson who got his start in the film and television industry as an editor and has edited 50 Years of Star Trek for the History Channel wrote this story. "Monster Maxson" is best known for playing monsters and creatures, and plays both the post-Apocalyptic Santa & meanie Cookie the last surviving Santa green Elf living in the Moon while gorging piles of Christmas cookies.

Cookie the Elf is narrating the story and "riffing" the film in the style of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, MST3K, or RiffTrax. It is an intentionally cheesy with cheap props film, with the exclusion of the elaborate makeups of Cookie the Elf, the Walrusman-alien Mothership Leader, and the Frogman-alien Mothership Commander.

I Ascended to the heavens with this masterpiece

[wallchristina · 10/10 · 18 May 2024]

Christmas with cookie is in artistic masterpiece. I've never seen such a ministry of filmmaking.

The cinematography the jokes the thing that looks like it took two seconds in blender the 400 something cookies on the table and the captivating performance of the abominable snowman keeper made this whole movie an absolute 10 out of 10 which I would rate higher if Given option.

With the help of this movie I have ascended to the heavens. This masterpiece has given me a new religion, all hail cookie.

Abominable snowman keeper needs an Oscar this man is the most captivating talented actor I have ever seen.

Rip that he died in an explosion #justiceforcookie.

An incomprehensible fever dream in the best way

[owlchild-73547 · 10/10 · 10 May 2024]

If you are going into this movie expecting normal movie quality you will be disappointed. If you only like good quality movies you will be disappointed. This is a bad movie in the best possible way. Its an borderline incomprehensible fever dream with bad graphics, poor acting, and a script that im not surprised to find out wasn't even finished by the the time they started recording. Its completely and utterly charming in the way cheap/bad movies are when you can tell the people on set where having fun. Its weird and fun and not the type of movie to take too seriously. Highly recommended for people who like this type of movie. Lowly recommended for people that don't like this type of movie. Also highly recommended for those who enjoy movies with the help of plants and liquid.

A Fun, Low Budget Christmas Classic!!

[donaldrussell-48193 · 10/10 · 15 July 2022]

If you are looking for a fun time, a good laugh, and about an hour well spent, then look no further than "Christmas With Cookie." This film is so incredibly low budget and it embraces this fact to the fullest extent. I found myself laughing so hard that I had to take breaks just to catch my breath. The performances are entertainingly over the top. Cookie is delightfully vile. The film is intentionally "bad", but it's made with such precision that you can tell it took real talent to craft. Sometimes films that are "intentionally bad" are just bad. This one is so bad that it's great. These guys knew what they were doing. I had a blast from start to finish. Overall, very impressive and well made. I look forward to director/writer/actor Alan Maxson's future projects.

You'll LOVE It!!!!!

[laurazone · 10/10 · 22 February 2018]

This is the type of movie I'd expect to find on Weird Al's tv channel from his 1989 movie UHF. It's very Lovable, Charmingly cheap, and Extremely Bizarre. Full of suspenseful dives into stomach acid, an extra set of ending credits, and even random mention of turtle meat. It's like being at a Christmas party with Andy Kaufman, Quagmire, Natasha Fatale, the Devil from South Park and the Pyromaniac Muppet Crazy Harry!!! Don't Miss It!