- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: If Martin killed The Beast, would we be here now talking about him?
- Quentin Coldwater: Yeah, but here's the thing.
- [Reads]
- Quentin Coldwater: "So little did Martin know he would fail to recover the blade, which would remain hidden for decades". Which means it could still be sitting somewhere waiting for us.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Right, in Fillory. The place where The Beast is.
- Eliot Waugh: Ergo, fuck that.
- Alice Quinn: You're just upset 'cause you may never get to go to Fillory.
- Quentin Coldwater: No, that would be stupid.
- Alice Quinn: Quentin...
- Quentin Coldwater: Why would I want to go? The child-molesting demon who incidentally wrote my favorite books is there waiting to kill us.
- Margo Hanson: What are we planning?
- Quentin Coldwater: Nothing yet. Just discussing how we're all probably gonna die before we even set foot in Fillory because the Neitherlands are full of mercenaries.
- Margo Hanson: Sounds like a problem.
- Quentin Coldwater: Point is, we need some serious battle magic.
- Margo Hanson: But that stuff's illegal.
- [Quentin gives her a look]
- Margo Hanson: I'm fucking with you. I'm in.
- Eliot Waugh: I'm in too. I heard the word "illegal".
- Alice Quinn: Wow, you look-...
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Damn handsome for someone who just had a heart attack? What can I say? Genetically blessed.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: [Practicing battle magic] Sit. Get Zen.
- Alice Quinn: I don't know if I can.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Every warrior in history learned how to do it. I bet plenty of them were hot messes.
- Margo Hanson: There's this thing about you, Q. You actually believe in magic.
- Quentin Coldwater: So does everyone.
- Margo Hanson: No. We all knows it's real, but you believe in it. And you just love it, pure and simple.
- Eliot Waugh: We're not learning anything new. In every scenario, The Beast comes next week.
- Quentin Coldwater: There was one time we didn't all die: when we went to Fillory.
- Eliot Waugh: No. Everything went white. It's not necessarily better.
- Alice Quinn: Well, I agree with Quentin.
- Margo Hanson: Oh, that's because he blows you.
- Quentin Coldwater: Seriously, eight tries. We get seven deaths, one mysterious? Give me that.
- Richard: No one's spoken to a god in centuries. They disappeared. Now, I believe that we can find a way to contact them again to get the kind of help they used to give.
- Silver: It's time, Richard.
- Julia Wicker: Contact how?
- Richard: Humans aren't their only children; there are others who are older and might know more.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Magical creatures.
- Julia Wicker: You mean like vampires and unicorns?
- Richard: Uh, I think unicorns are a myth.
- Quentin Coldwater: Where did you get this? Is this, like, from World War II?
- Eliot Waugh: I tripped and fell on it locked in a drawer in Sunderland's office.
- Alice Quinn: My Japanese is a little rusty, but I think that this says, "Majikku misairu".
- Quentin Coldwater: "Magic missile"? That's, like, straight-up "Dungeons & Dragons.
- Margo Hanson: What if we got guns?
- Quentin Coldwater: What? No. No, look, this is basic prime directive. Fillory is a pristine, non-industrialized society. You can't-...
- Eliot Waugh: Oh, yes, very pristine. It's been taken over by a kiddie-diddling mutant.
- Quentin Coldwater: Yeah, and that's not Fillory's fault.
- Margo Hanson: Great. Let's go native. Scale of one to ten, how are you with a broadsword, Quentin?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: Get on with the lecture.
- Prof. Pearl Sunderland: Oh, I've overdosed once. No, twice, if you count the time I took so much Prozac, I developed tardive dyskinesia, but that was an accident. The crack - that was a straight OD, no chaser.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: You smoked crack?
- Prof. Pearl Sunderland: I've done things that would make you hide under a blankie.
- Julia Wicker: Give me a name. Some other thing like you.
- Bjorn: Hey, that's offensive. I'm a person. I'm a *person*. We're not a club. They're all horrible. Pixies are dicks, the lycans are rapists, and shapeshifters, they all headed west back in the '50s...
- Quentin Coldwater: [after "Bottling" their emotions via spell] This must be what undergoing the Vulcan ritual of Kolinahr is like.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: I like your sweater.
- Quentin Coldwater: Are you saying that to be cruel?
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: No. I like your sweater. I saw no reason not to share
- Eliot Waugh: Bottling our emotions, literally.
- Alice Quinn: Kady says we shouldn't use these for more than three hours at a time, right? That it's too hard on the system, and when the feelings come back, it's extremely intense.
- Eliot Waugh: Yeah, yeah. Don't lean on the bottle.
- Julia Wicker: If you can read my mind, you know that we both have knives in our pockets dipped in gold and silver and coated in shark's blood.
- The Lamia: Jesus, that's overkill.
- Julia Wicker: We weren't sure which legends were true.
- The Lamia: I hate Ivy League girls.
- Eliot Waugh: Remember that spring? At the foot of the mountains in Fillory?
- Quentin Coldwater: It was Chatwin's Torrent. Thought you didn't remember the books.
- Eliot Waugh: Rupert was wounded, right? Till the spring healed his leg? Do you think it's real?
- Quentin Coldwater: Some of the good parts have to be. At least I hope so. Why?
- Eliot Waugh: Because I probably have liver damage.
- Quentin Coldwater: So Martin's desperate, 'cause the Plover had figured out a way to change physically, which opened up a whole new class of spellwork, which meant that pretty soon he'd be able to follow Martin into Fillory.
- Eliot Waugh: Urgh.
- Quentin Coldwater: Yeah. So Martin got a line on an enchanted knife, the Leo. Uh Yeah, powerful enough to tear through the fabric of magic itself - like, kill a god. So qualified to murder a fairly invincible mutant Magician.
- Richard: People used to petition gods all the time to bestow power to work stuff that we'd never dream of. Now, they're it - biggest source there is. At least they were, question being...
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: Where the hell are they now?
- Richard: That prayer I gave you, you know, doesn't work for everyone. Actually, you're the first.
- Julia Wicker: I don't understand.
- Richard: I know you're not gonna like to hear this, but I gave you a test.
- Julia Wicker: Why? I'm not religious. I'm not a - I'm not anything
- Richard: . We don't know why some people are god-touched. There's no rhyme or reason. Karma, DNA, luck of the draw. But it's you, Julia.
- William 'Penny' Adiyodi: He's targeting us because we can hear him, because we can travel. I mean, he wants all the roads in and out of his fortress on lock.
- Stanley: No shit. Like I want to travel to a blue state, never mind other worlds.
- Kady Orloff-Diaz: You Bjorn?
- Bjorn: I asked for blondes.
- Julia Wicker: I heard about you from a girl who got fired from a blood bank on 67th about a year ago. Apparently, she wasn't stealing for herself.
- Bjorn: Tracy sold me out? What'd you give her?
- Julia Wicker: Honestly, 20 bucks. So I don't think that was true love.
- Our Lady Underground: Nothing was wasted, Julia. Ever. Everything has served to pull you closer to me. Find me near the bridge. There's a man who has served me 1,000 years. Bring him three gifts. He'll show you the way.