- [Don E. tells Blaine that he was unconscious, when Blaine calls him Scott E]
- Don Everhart: You were unconscious.
- Blaine DeBeers: Most people call that sleeping, Scott E, but way to add the drama.
- Don Everhart: It's Don E., Blaine. You just called me Scott E.
- Blaine DeBeers: Did I? Oh, in my defense, you do look just like him.
- [Peyton asks Major and Ravi to rent the apartment across from her and Liv]
- Peyton Charles: Please, try and rent the apartment across the hall.
- Olivia Moore: So we can be like the friends from Friends.
- Peyton Charles: Oh! Yes!
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Fantastic idea! Peyton is Monica-esque.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi looks at Liv] You're clearly a Rachel. Type-A. Relationship drama.
- [Liv asks Major if he remembers the Friends episode about a zombie]
- Olivia Moore: Remember the episode when Ross and Rachel break up because she's a zombie who wants to solve murder cases?
- Major Lilywhite: Mmm. That was so us.
- [Clive believes he solves the Cassidy Kozlowski case]
- Clive Babineaux: Nick's our guy. His ankle monitor puts him at the time and place of the murder. We'll use it to track him down and arrest him.
- Olivia Moore: Why can't they all be this easy?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi puts his thumbs up] Hooray for dumb criminals.
- [a customer at the strip club tries to ask Peyton for a lap dance]
- Drunk Guy: How much for a lap dance? $20?
- Peyton Charles: I'm a lawyer.
- Drunk Guy: $40?
- [Major finds Ravi in his room looking for nail clippers]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Uh, I didn't know you were home. I was looking for my nail clippers.
- Major Lilywhite: Be honest, man. When I leave the house, you like to try on my clothes just to feel close to me.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Sometimes.
- [Liv and Peyton reunite as roommates with Peyton moving in]
- Olivia Moore: What is happening over there?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [as Ravi tries to lift up his bottle of beer] I literally can't lift my arms. Why did I get all the boxes of books?
- Major Lilywhite: Because you made me carry the furniture all by myself.
- [Peyton stops by the police morgue to see Liv]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi holds a brain in his hands] Peyton, what a pleasant surprise. If I had known you'd be stopping by, I would've worn my less bloody lab coat.
- Peyton Charles: Never visiting you at work again.
- [Liv and Clive interrogate the stripper Lorelei who can't stop crying]
- Olivia Moore: [Lorelei crying uncontrollably] Is this chick crying because her granny is finding out she's a stripper? You're being questioned in a murder case because you're a suspect. Oh, my God. It's like a frickin' Adele concert in here. More information. Less tears and snot.
- Clive Babineaux: Lorelei, we need to know what happened the night Cassidy was killed. Were you with Nick when he left the club?
- Olivia Moore: [Liv and Clive leave the room] That was like interrogating a puddle.
- [Liv sees Blaine for the first time after he loses his memory]
- Olivia Moore: Does he remember that he's a dick? I can smack him in the head a couple hundred times. See if that shakes something loose
- Blaine DeBeers: Do you know me?
- Olivia Moore: Unfortunately, yeah.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Mmm. A guy with an ankle monitor gets a hot girlfriend. Yet some women won't date a guy who wears Crocs.
- [first lines]
- Don Everhart: [Don E. walks into Blaine's funeral office seeing Blaine unconscious in his chair] Blaine? What is your go-to bagpipe player's name again? I know it's Something McSomething, but... Blaine?
- Don Everhart: [Don E. starts to shake Blaine's body] Come on. Come on, man. Wake up. Wake up! Wake up!
- Blaine DeBeers: Oh! Hey. What's with the manhandling?
- [Ravi breaks down the crime scene of the stripper Cassidy Kozlowski]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi picks up one high heel] Bad news. One of our eye witnesses is dead...
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi picks up the other high heel] ... And the other is not talking.
- [Peyton tries questioning Liv on the stripper-brain for information]
- Peyton Charles: Anything about Hong Kong suppliers? Or shipment schedules?
- Olivia Moore: No.
- Peyton Charles: Hmm. Cassidy said she knew every criminal thing Nick was involved with. Maybe just start with that.
- Olivia Moore: I'm gonna start with throwing this frickin' plate across the room if you don't step the hell off.
- [Peyton still tries to get the Cassidy information out of Liv on stripper-brain]
- Peyton Charles: Maybe try closing your eyes. Focus on the phrase, 'Stash house.' 'Stash house.' 'Stash house.' 'Stash house.'
- Olivia Moore: It's not about focusing, okay? It's not Pop-A-Shot.
- [Peyton and Liv arrive at a stripper club]
- Peyton Charles: Did that dancer just accept a tip with her butt cheeks? That's just... I mean, how does she even know how much he gave her?
- Olivia Moore: Oh, she knows.
- [Liv on stripper-brain almost gets in a fight with a working stripper]
- Helvetica: Pasty-ass ho.
- Olivia Moore: You wanna go? I will kick you right back to the trailer park where you used to make out with your uncle.
- [Liv on stripper-brain sits on the lap of a guy while waiting for a vision to happen]
- Cocky Guy: Olivia. I like how your mouth looks when you say that.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv smiles in the guys lap] Olivia.
- [Liv on stripper-brain gives Peyton a lap dance to maybe get a vision]
- Olivia Moore: It's a lap dance. Low mileage. No knee to groin contact. I'm your best friend.
- Peyton Charles: Yeah. That's why this is awkward.
- Olivia Moore: So, with some other girl it would be fine? Wait. Do you not find me attractive?
- [Liv on stripper-brain gives Peyton a more rough lap dance]
- Peyton Charles: What do you want me to say?
- Olivia Moore: I want you to appreciate how freakin' hot I am.
- Peyton Charles: Okay.
- Olivia Moore: Why do you have to make it all emotional? I have a body, all right? Can't you just think of me as a sexual object?
- Peyton Charles: Fine. Whatever. You want to back up that booty, back it up. Let's see what you got.
- Olivia Moore: Oh, I'll show you what I got.
- Peyton Charles: Oh, bring it.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv dances her butt up to Peyton's face] You know it's still 20 bucks, right?
- [Liv on stripper-brain talks to Clive on the phone]
- Olivia Moore: Do I need to get, 'I'll tell you if I have a vision' tattooed on my forehead?
- [Liv describes how she has a vision while on the stripper-brain]
- Peyton Charles: This is how you trigger a vision?
- Olivia Moore: Yeah. No matter what brain I'm on, I just sit on some strange knuckle-nut's lap and 'Poof,' vision!
- [Liv on stripper-brain talks to Peyton in the strip club when one of the girls whips Liv in the face with her hair]
- Olivia Moore: Did that bitch just flick me in the face with her pony tail?
- Peyton Charles: I think it was an accident.
- Olivia Moore: It is on. I'm gonna smack the wet 'n' wild right off her face!
- [Peyton and Liv on stripper-brain follow a girl into the women's bathroom]
- Peyton Charles: Does it help for me to mention this isn't really you?
- Olivia Moore: [Liv and Peyton enter the bathroom] Hey! You in the stall! You're gonna flick me in the grill with your cheap-ass wannabe-Ariana-Grande clip-on and then just hide in the bathroom?
- [Peyton and Liv on stripper-brain pay a visit to the amnesiac Blaine at the funeral home]
- Blaine DeBeers: Can I interest you ladies in a cup of decaf java? Organic, fair trade, shade-grown, barely discernible carbon footprint.
- Olivia Moore: There's going to be a discernible carbon footprint on your ass if you don't cut the crap.
- [a detective walks in on Liv at the morgue as she listens to her music]
- Olivia Moore: [the detective turns off the radio] Gonna lose a hand turning off a girl's music like that.
- [Clive tells Liv the blonde stripper Lorelei is suspicious at the club]
- Clive Babineaux: We should wait until she gets off work and follow her.
- Olivia Moore: Should we sit at the tip rail or do you want to grab a table?
- Clive Babineaux: I meant wait in the car.
- [Liv and Clive sit on a stakeout together]
- Olivia Moore: How do you not have any food in your car?
- Clive Babineaux: Because you already ate two granola bars and my emergency almonds.
- [Liv while on the stakeout feels she willed herself a pizza to be delivered]
- Olivia Moore: [to Clive] Holy crap. I think I just willed myself a pizza. This way, pizza boy. Mama wants some pepperoni.
- [Liv tells Ravi at the morgue that she's ready to tell Blaine to cut the fake amnesia]
- Olivia Moore: I'm about to help him to a fistful of, 'Cut the crap' if this doesn't stop.
- [Don E. gets Chief to scratch him on the arm to become a zombie]
- Don Everhart: [Don E. smiles] Let those bitches try and kill me now.
- [Liv narrates to herself when she solves the murder to the Cassidy Kozlowski case]
- Olivia Moore: [narrating] There's loyalty and there's being an idiot. Sometimes it looks the same. If you love someone despite what they do, you're lying to yourself. You can't love someone you don't really know. But it sure as hell can feel like you do.
- Major Lilywhite: [Ravi confronts Major about being the Chaos Killer after breaking into his safe] Why did you do this?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi yells] Because I have the right to know if I'm living with a murderer! I should know if my friend is killing people!
- Major Lilywhite: I'm not killing people!
- Ravi Chakrabarti: What? They're not people? They're zombies? So, what's Liv to you?
- Major Lilywhite: Look, you don't understand.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: You stalk them, Major. You hurt them and you drugged them, and I'm terrified to find out what you...
- Major Lilywhite: Stop!
- [as Major begins to turn into a zombie rage mode]
- Johnny Frost: Look, I was upset because Cassidy was stealing, but, we had a special bond. Truly. I'm not sure I'll ever get over losing her.
- Destiny: [Walks up] I'm free now, Mr. Frost. Ready to hit the champagne room?
- Johnny Frost: [to Liv and Peyton] You'll have to excuse me. Destiny is calling.