- Rimmer: The crew are alive?
- Holly: Yes, Arnold.
- Rimmer: The original crew?
- Holly: Yes, Arnold.
- Rimmer: Captain Hollister?
- Holly: Nobody's dead, Arnold.
- Rimmer: Todhunter?
- Holly: Nobody's dead, Arnold.
- Rimmer: Not even Petersen?
- Holly: Nobody.
- Rimmer: Nobody's dead, not even Lister?
- Holly: Gordon Bennett. Lister, Petersen - nobody. Nobody's dead. Nobody is dead, Arnold.
- Rimmer: So, hang on - you're telling me nobody's dead?
- Holly: I wish I never brought this up now.
- Rimmer: How is this any better than where I came from? Where is Lister? Where is that little goit?
- Holly: He's in stasis. He smuggled an un-quarantined animal on board so he got thrown into suspended animation.
- Rimmer: So, wait - how did you all survive the radiation leak that wiped out all the crew?
- Holly: There hasn't been a radiation leak, Arnold.
- Rimmer: Are you sure?
- Holly: Sorry to break off, Arnold, I've got to make an announcement.
- [an alarm sounds]
- Holly: Radiation leak alert! Radiation leak alert! All crew should run around screaming!
- Rimmer: Captain?
- [finding Hollister in an escape pod]
- Captain Hollister: Oh, Rimmer. Man, this is embarrassing.
- Rimmer: What are you doing?
- Captain Hollister: Errr, I was trying to go down with the Dwarf, do the right thing, when suddenly I tripped into this escape pod; I thought I was pressing the Get Me Out of This Damn Thing I Wanna Die Nobly With My Crew button, only it turned out to be the Get Me Home Fast switch. Now it's launching.
- Rimmer: Just press the emergency over switch. Take me with you.
- Captain Hollister: Aaahhh, I'd like to invite you along, Rimmer, but as you can see it's only a four-seater, so there's only room for me.
- Rimmer: But sir - I thought all good Captains went down with their ships.
- Captain Hollister: They do. Later.
- [waving]
- Holly: Morning, Arnold.
- Rimmer: Morning, Holly.
- Rimmer: Holly, when is this? Where am I?
- Holly: It's Monday and you're in a corridor. Anything else I can help you with?
- Rimmer: Are you still senile?
- Holly: I've never been senile. I was a dancing cabbage for a while, but I'm over that now. Turned out it was some corrupted files.
- Rimmer: So you're sane again? Have you been tested?
- Holly: I'm the computer that runs the ship; I'm tested every month. Of course I've been tested. I'm always being tested.
- Rimmer: Can you prove that? Have you got a certificate?
- Holly: Well, no, I failed the test. I forgot to turn the paper over. I didn't realize there were two sides.