- Rocket J. Squirrel: Two tickets to Peaceful Valley.
- Railway Clerk: First, second, or third class?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: What's the difference?
- Railway Clerk: First class you ride in a closed car. Second class you ride in an open car.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Gee, what's third class?
- Railway Clerk: You ride *under* the car. Now, how much can you afford to spend?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Well, anything up to a dollar and a half is okay.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Yeah. Of course that includes meals and tips.
- Railway Clerk: Well, the only thing I have for a dollar and a half is our shanks mare excursion ticket.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Sounds good. We'll take it!
- Railway Clerk: You got it!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: What is it?
- [the Railway Clerk tosses Rocky and Bullwinkle directly onto the railroad tracks]
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: We've had it.
- Narrator: Yes, the shanks mare excursion ticket meant only that our heroes were allowed to *walk* the railroad tracks from Minnesota to Missouri.
- Georgiy: All is going according to plan, Fearless Leader.
- Fearless Leader: Good, good. Now it is time for our man in Minnesota to take over. Who is available, Georgiy?
- Georgiy: [searching through files] Well, let's see... Anastasia got caught by f-i-b.
- Fearless Leader: You mean FBI.
- Georgiy: That's what I said. He told an f-i-b to the FBI, and got twenty years.
- Fearless Leader: Go on.
- Georgiy: Englebert is visiting his mother and can't get away.
- Fearless Leader: Can't get away? Where *is* his mother?
- Georgiy: In San Quentin.
- Fearless Leader: Oh. Well, who does that leave us?
- Georgiy: I'm afraid to tell you, Fearless Leader.
- Fearless Leader: Afraid? Why?
- Georgiy: You'll have me liquidated for telling you bad news!
- Fearless Leader: Come, come, come, Georgiy. I'm your Fearless Leader. Don't you trust me?
- Georgiy: Of course!
- Fearless Leader: Then *tell* me!
- Georgiy: It's... it's Boris Badenov.
- Fearless Leader: [furious] Schweinhund! Take him away!
- [a guard grabs Georgiy and drags him out of the room]
- Georgiy: But Fearless Leader!
- Fearless Leader: And let this be a lesson, Georgiy! Don't trust *anybody*!
- [off-screen machine gun fire]
- Narrator: Well, why is this Fearless Leader keeping tab on our heroes? Maybe we'll find out next time...
- Fearless Leader: Over your dead body!
- Narrator: And maybe we won't, but watch anyway for "Landslide On The Rails" or "Bullwinkle Covers His Tracks."
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: [after receiving a telegram] Read it, will ya, Rock. I don't have my glasses.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, I keep telling ya, you don't wear glasses!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well, I said I didn't have any.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: [about the BAMBAMS] Anyway, they want you to attend the annual convention.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well, I don't know.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: They say they're gonna elect you vice president.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well, I...
- Rocket J. Squirrel: They say they'll pay all expenses.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well...
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And you can bring your ukulele and sing.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Let's pack!