The Bullwinkle Show (TV Series)

Subway Finish, or An Underground Round/The Last Edition, or Five-Scar Final (1961)

Paul Frees: Boris Badenov, Sheriff, Edgar, Slug, Dudley Do-Right Narrator, Inspector Fenwick, Policeman, Additional Voices

Quotes 

• [after Bullwinkle had placed the Light Fingered Five Minus Two inside an ice house] 

  Slug : Hey, hey, moose! It's dark in here!

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : What do you mean dark? There's a light in there.

  Slug : Yeah, but when you close the door, it goes out.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : [opens the door and enters]  It does? I always wondered about that.

  Slug : Sure. Look for yourself.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Okay.

  Narrator : And while Bullwinkle stared at the light bulb, the three hoodlums closed the door on him.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Uh-oh! I've been flimflammed!

  Narrator : That's right.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : By the flimsiest kind of a flam!

  Narrator : That's right.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Them fellers tricked me!

  Narrator : That's right.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : [points to the light bulb]  Look, it didn't go off at all!

• Bullwinkle J. Moose : [after falling through the floor]  Oh! Termites!

  Narrator : But, no. Frantically, tugging on the suitcase was our old nemesis, Boris Badenov.

  Boris Badenov : Let go, you stupid moose!

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : I'm not giving up to no talking termite!

  Narrator : Fortunately, the sheriff was outside Bullwinkle's cell and heard the commotion. He immediately went to the moose's aid. But unfortunately, Boris's gang also arrived on the scene. Fortunately, Rocky zoomed in looking for the sheriff. But unfortunately...

  Boris Badenov : Make up your mind, will you?

• Sheriff : [about Rocky]  You know, for someone who lives on a diet of nuts, he's pretty smart.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : And he's my friend.

  Sheriff : Well, he can't be all smart.

• [Rocky prepares to hide the vacuum cleaner full of money under a loose floorboard] 

  Rocket J. Squirrel : I'll just put... Uh-oh. There's something here already.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Something to do with the plot, I'll bet.

  Rocket J. Squirrel : [pulls out a pot]  I'll say. Look.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Oh, it's just an ordinary pot full of confederate money.

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Bullwinkle, it's the Picayune Pot!

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Isn't it, though? I al... The Picayune Pot! Then we win the prize!

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Yeah, now we've only got one problem.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : What's that?

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Staying alive to collect it.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : What's so tough about that?

  [Boris enters] 

  Boris Badenov : Well, I'll tell you, buddy!

  Rocket J. Squirrel : YIKE!

  Narrator : Yike, indeed. For there in the room with them stood Boris Badenov.

• Rocket J. Squirrel : [after accidentally sucking up Boris]  Uh-oh. Excuse me, Mr. Braunschweiger. I thought you were a $100 bill.

  Boris Badenov : Name is Babyface, not Bill.

• Rocket J. Squirrel : [while blocking a door]  No, sir, Mr. Babyface Braunschweiger! You won't get by me!

  Boris Badenov : [laughs]  Watch carefully!

  [slams the door open, knocking Rocky out of the way] 

  Boris Badenov : Crime marches on!

  Narrator : And Boris dashed out through the doorway.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : Rocky, he got away! We're gonna have another unhappy ending!

  Rocket J. Squirrel : [after shutting the door]  I don't think so, Bullwinkle.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : How come?

  Rocket J. Squirrel : Well, you see, that's not the door to outside.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : It's not?

  Rocket J. Squirrel : I tricked him! Read the sign.

  Bullwinkle J. Moose : [reads]  "Ice Making Room. Keep Out. Danger." Rocky, you've did it again!