- Jessica Huang: Field trips are just paid vacations for teachers. I don't pay taxes so they can walk around a museum telling our children that a painting of a soup can is beautiful.
- Louis Huang: [having a coming-of-age talk with Emery] Puberty strikes hard and quick. Like a large soda halfway through 'Schindler's List'.
- Jessica Huang: Eddie! You're going to be late! Stop playing Italian maintenance twins and get in here.