iZombie (TV Series)
Abra Cadaver (2015)
Rahul Kohli: Ravi Chakrabarti
Photos
Quotes
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[Ravi tells Liv that he would like a cool stage name]
Ravi Chakrabarti : Syd Wicked. I want to change my name to something cool like that. What do you think of Rick Bang?
Olivia Moore : I think Rick Bang lives in a one-bedroom apartment in the San Fernando Valley and gets paid to do it on camera.
Ravi Chakrabarti : Ow. Well, Steph told me how to figure out my porn name. Sadly, it's Polly Cripplegate.
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[magician-brain Liv does a magic card trick for Ravi]
Olivia Moore : Okay. Have you thought of a card? Do you see it?
Ravi Chakrabarti : [Liv does the magic trick, as Ravi gasps] The 10 of clubs is missing. Where did it go, you witch?
Olivia Moore : Ah! The 10 of clovers. A clover needs a dark space to take root. A place as dark as a closed casket buried six feet under.
Ravi Chakrabarti : That's dark.
Olivia Moore : Or, a man's back pocket.
Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi gasps when finding the card in his back pocket] This is the best brain ever! I almost want to start killing magicians so it never ends.
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[Peyton talks to Ravi and Major about women not being too needy]
Peyton Charles : Let's get it all out in the open, Man-Things. What about Liv? She's not glomming onto you, is she? She's not cramping your style? She's not being too needy?
Major Lilywhite : No. It's all good. Real good.
Major Lilywhite : [Peyton and Ravi remain quiet] I mean, today she left me a voice-mail about how drowning would be a beautiful way to die, but otherwise, you know, same old Liv.
Ravi Chakrabarti : Ah, yeah, uh, she's rolling hard on a death-obsessed magician. It will pass. She just needs to eat someone else's brain.
Major Lilywhite : Is that all?
Ravi Chakrabarti : Mm-hmm.
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[Major asks Ravi and Peyton for Zombie-Liv advice]
Major Lilywhite : Question. Since the two of you have really experienced zombie Liv first-hand, how extreme do her personality swings get?
Ravi Chakrabarti : She can be a bit mercurial. But most of the time I enjoy the variety. Of course, I don't have to date her.
Peyton Charles : There was the time her eyes turned red and she killed someone. I'm thinking that was probably a one-off.
Major Lilywhite : A one-off. That's good.
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[Liv and Ravi talk about Ravi's life with the ladies]
Ravi Chakrabarti : I used to be a real wand hand until I realized it didn't help me with the ladies.
Olivia Moore : So you moved onto video games and forensic pathology?
Olivia Moore : [Ravi hesitates] Hey, uh, Clive and I have to go question a magician after his show tonight You want to come?
Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi hangs his head in disappointment] I wish. I have a date.
[Liv squints her eyes at Ravi]
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[Ravi and Liv follow the new lead of magicians Smoak and Meers]
Ravi Chakrabarti : Hashtag, 'I think we have a new lead.'
Olivia Moore : Don't do that.
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[Peyton tells Ravi maybe it's a bad idea she moved in after Ravi tries to kiss her]
Peyton Charles : Aren't you seeing Steph?
Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, I, uh, I ended it.
Peyton Charles : Maybe this was a bad idea, moving in.
Ravi Chakrabarti : No, no, no, no, no, no, stay. I'm an idiot. Maybe I've been drinking? No, it's just the idiocy.
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[Liv asks Ravi how him and his girfriend Steph are]
Olivia Moore : Things good with you and Steph?
Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah, they're fine, I guess.
Olivia Moore : Can you have sex without worrying you'll turn her into a member of the undead?
Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah.
Olivia Moore : Then no bitching.
Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, I didn't think I was. It might be time for someone to eat.
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[Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over Syd Wicked's crime scene]
Olivia Moore : What kind of name is Syd Wicked?
Clive Babineaux : Stage name. He's a magician. You don't dress like that unless you do magic or you hate your parents. Apparently there's some big magician convention happening at this hotel all week.
Ravi Chakrabarti : Of course! PrestoFest. How did I miss that. I'm on the mailing list.
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[Liv, Clive, and Ravi watch the video of Syd Wicked on his laptop]
Syd Wicked : Death. Most of us live in constant fear that at any moment, death will wrench us into an eternal darkness. But I have stared Death right in his face and he blinked first. Mark that. I'll use that for the intro for my closer.
Ravi Chakrabarti : What showmanship. The world has lost a storyteller.
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[Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over the hotel security tapes that were watching over Syd Wicked's hotel room]
Olivia Moore : So, Syd went into his room alive, no one else came in or out of it, and yet, he was murdered?
Ravi Chakrabarti : You know what this means, right? The murder is a magic trick. Sometimes I really love this job.
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[Ravi asks Peyton for girlfriend advice]
Ravi Chakrabarti : You know Steph, the woman I'm kind of seeing?
Peyton Charles : 'Kind of seeing.' Yeah. Women love when you use qualifiers like that.
Ravi Chakrabarti : I like her, it's... My question is, look, she just changed her Facebook status to 'In a relationship.'
Peyton Charles : And that freaked you out. Look, I change my status to 'In a relationship' all the time, just to get dudes to leave me alone.
Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah. Okay. I can see that.
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[Ravi tells Peyton that him and his girlfriend Steph are planning to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day together]
Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, she's just getting a bit intense, you know, okay... I mean, she told me we're celebrating Guy Fawkes Day tomorrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a few weeks ago.
Peyton Charles : [Peyton chuckles] Guy Fawkes Day, huh? Yeah... she's definitely going to propose.
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[Liv sums up what Twitter is to Ravi]
Olivia Moore : Twitter, a vast collection of humanity's impetuous thought vomitings.
Ravi Chakrabarti : I'd like to think I'm quite introspective about what I tweet to my, 23 followers.
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[Clive arrives to the crime scene of Syd Wicked's dead body]
Ravi Chakrabarti : Ugh! What is that horrible, horrible smell?
Clive Babineaux : I'm guessing it's the dead body.
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[Ravi reveals to Clive and Liv the piece of rotting fish he found with Syd's dead body]
Ravi Chakrabarti : So, I took a gander around the room, and found this in the wastebasket, with this lovely note attached. 'Welcome to PrestoFest.' 'Here's a gift from your fellow magicians.' So I thinks to myself, 'Hmm. Okay. Kind of boilerplate stuff.' Maybe they thought the summer sausage would make up for the stock sentiments. But wait, there's more.
Clive Babineaux : We're all hoping.
Olivia Moore : [Ravi reveals the old piece of meat] Ugh!
Ravi Chakrabarti : [as Ravi concludes on reading the note] 'Enjoy the decay!'
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[Clive realizes that they're going to be interviewing a bunch of magicians]
Clive Babineaux : So how many magicians come to this.
Ravi Chakrabarti : PrestoFest every year? Oh, upwards of 200. Then you have your semi-professionals, your weekend wizards, and the occasional hypnotist. 'PrestoFest, come for the illusions and stay for the sleight of ha... '
Clive Babineaux : [Clive inerrupts Ravi] Looks like we're going to be interviewing a whole lot of magicians. Sometimes I really hate this job.
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[Ravi arrives home only to find his home and Steph in a British setting]
Steph : 'Hello, Governor! Mind the gap.' Is the accent too much?
Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi nervously laughs] This... This looked like it took a lot of work.