- [Ravi and Liv arrive outside the Karma Cleaners & Alterations shop]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: All right, what's the plan?
- Olivia Moore: We'll wing it. You ready to do this?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Yes, and...
- Olivia Moore: And what?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: 'Yes, and... ' It's the first rule of improv? It's what keeps the scene moving forward.
- Olivia Moore: Try not to talk. You willing to hold my hand?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi smiles while holding Liv's hand] Yes. And...
- [first lines]
- Gilda: [Gilda finds Liv in their kitchen downing a bottle of hot sauce from the fridge] Morning, stranger. Hangover cure?
- Olivia Moore: Just a weird craving. At least it's not hollandaise sauce, right?
- [Vaughn asks Gilda to taste test the yellow and the clear bubblegum Super Max flavors]
- Gilda: [sampling the first] Ugh. Mystery solved. Yellow represents its urine flavor. Can you register some concern with my news? You had me move in with her so you wouldn't get blindsided by this sort of thing.
- Vaughn Du Clark: It's... Stay on task, sweetie.
- Gilda: [drinks second sample and coughs] Go with the urine-flavor.
- [Liv plans to eats Clive's ex-girlfriend's brain for fun]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: What if you have a vision of having sex with Clive? You might see his O-face!
- Olivia Moore: Really? That's where your mind goes?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I bet it's super angry.
- [Ravi makes an angry 'O' face]
- [Liv and Ravi spot Clive in a costume]
- Dale Bozzio: Oh, yeah. Clive is a huge Game of Thrones fan. You want to really set him off?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Yes, please!
- Dale Bozzio: Ask him what George R.R. Martin is doing right now.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [gasps] We don't know this man at all. Maybe he is a murderer. We should check his basement for human remains.
- Major Lilywhite: Hey, would it be weird if I got Minor a tiny Seahawks jersey and on the back it said, 'Ruff L. Wilson'?
- Olivia Moore: [caught getting jealous for nothing] I'm going to plead temporary insanity.
- Major Lilywhite: Hey. A little jealousy makes a guy feel wanted.
- [Major's cell phone bleeps]
- Olivia Moore: Little late for a text, isn't it?
- Major Lilywhite: But let's not overplay it.
- Clive Babineaux: [about Regina] She was a badge bunny.
- Olivia Moore: A what?
- Clive Babineaux: A badge bunny. A woman who sleeps with cops. Something about the badge turns them on.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: I have a badge.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [about Regina] How'd she get your gun?
- Clive Babineaux: Stole it from my place the night before her murder.
- Olivia Moore: She wanted to have something you touched against her skin.
- Clive Babineaux: Whose side are you on?
- [Liv and Ravi introduce themselves to Uma Voss while undercover]
- Olivia Moore: I'm Julie Walker and this tall drink of water is my fiance.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Shawrama Parachanchetabarka.
- Olivia Moore: [Liv continues speaking] We just started wedding planning.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [as to his cooking skill] Why did you keep it a secret? You figured Shaft never cooked for his friends so neither could you?
- Olivia Moore: It's adorable.
- Clive Babineaux: And there it is. Need I say more?
- [Major talks to Liv through the prison visiting glass]
- Olivia Moore: Well, I'm likely unemployed now, so... Silver lining: my inner stalker has left the building. You can invite some girls over tonight. Play some Twister. See if I care.
- Major Lilywhite: These girls I'm inviting over? I'm warning you, they're basically adult film stars. And not even the under contract ones. I'm talking the anything goes kind.
- [Liv smiles]
- Major Lilywhite: I'll be here when they let you out.
- Olivia Moore: I can't wait.
- [Gilda and Vaughn Du Clark discuss Liv]
- Gilda: So, the thought of a zombie, who works for the police and hates you, finding out we're killing zombies really isn't worth worrying about?
- Vaughn Du Clark: Okay, so you really think she's gonna go to all her cop buddies and say, 'Hey, everyone! Zombies exist! Let's go arrest all those guys who rid the world of zombies.' Please.
- Gilda: Maybe. Or maybe she just gets hungry one night and decides to eat you.
- [Considering what would happen after Vaughn Du Clark's death]
- Vaughn Du Clark: As I know you've already redecorated my office in your mind, you can only hope.
- Gilda: I'll be going with a mid-century vibe. Desk facing north. Warhol originals. Your Elon Musk Bobble-head in the trash.
- [Gilda Max notices an unfamiliar face]
- Gilda: What...? Who is this? Where's Dr. Erving?
- Vaughn Du Clark: Ah, lab accident. Dr. Lockett's gettin' his big break.
- Gilda: [scoffs] They're like drummers for Spinal Tap.
- [Liv and Ravi flip through Regina's fantasy marriage photo book]
- Olivia Moore: Clive plays piano?
- Dale Bozzio: Beautifully. He's got one in his living room. You've never been to his place?
- Olivia Moore: Nope.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Clive has a strict church and state policy with regards to his work and personal life.
- [fatal-attraction-brain Liv finds a feminine shampoo in Major's shower]
- Olivia Moore: Who's the bitch using your shower?
- Major Lilywhite: Uh...
- Olivia Moore: Or did you suddenly switch to Sinful Diva shampoo 'for the shine that gets him to notice you?'
- Major Lilywhite: Oh. That's Ravi's. Smell it.
- Olivia Moore: [taking a whiff] It does smell like Ravi.
- [jealous-brain Liv goes through Major's phone late at night]
- Olivia Moore: [narrating] This isn't you, Liv. It's the brain. You know this. Put the phone down and get back in bed. You don't know his pass code, anyway. Or maybe this is a sign.
- [Clive tells Liv and Ravi about the stalker Regina Summer]
- Clive Babineaux: All she wanted to talk about was my job. She wanted details on the cases. She wanted me wearing my holster when we were, uh... intimate. She wanted to hold my gun.
- Clive Babineaux: Well...
- [Clive silences him with a raised finger]
- [Gilda comes home and finds jealous-brain Liv on Major's Facebook page]
- Gilda: Well, look who's home for once.
- Olivia Moore: [talking at her laptop] You slut!
- Gilda: [hesitates] Um... whatcha doing?
- Olivia Moore: Making a list of all the women who comment or post on Major's Facebook entries. This is bad, huh?
- Gilda: Isn't good.
- [Liv tells Gilda about all the women she found on Major's Facebook page]
- Olivia Moore: Well, I started out just looking for one name, but once I started poking around, I started noticing all these chicks throwing themselves at my man. Oh, 'So true, Major. Violence is bad. Keep fighting the good fight.' Classic whore line. 'A bunch of us are going out for karaoke. You should come with.' Toss your panties at him, Jezebel.
- Gilda: Wow!
- [Ravi burns his mouth eating the spicy Po' Boy meant for Liv]
- Olivia Moore: [finally taking a bite of it] Hmm. Mine's a little... uninspiring. How's yours?
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [with a bite form the Po' Boy meant for him] I'm neither overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I guess I'm whelmed.
- Olivia Moore: Grandma must have lost her touch.
- [Liv's phone buzzes]
- Olivia Moore: Ah! Jackpot! We got a hit. I'm gonna need a slim jim, a black hoodie and a head lamp.
- Clive Babineaux: What exactly...
- Olivia Moore: The less you know the better.
- [Ravi talks to Liv through the prison visiting glass]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: We get eight more minutes. So, what do you want to talk about? Oh, what's the best American album of all time? I say, it's Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys.
- Olivia Moore: Can we just sit here? Eight minutes of silence is just what the doctor ordered.
- Major Lilywhite: [watching Vaughn Du Clark work out] Hate to break it to you, you being the owner of the company and all, but all the sugar and caffeine in energy drinks just makes you crash.
- Vaughn Du Clark: Super Max is no energy drink, my friend. It is a revolution in liquid form.
- Major Lilywhite: [with a smile] Right.
- [last lines]
- Olivia Moore: [Major opens the safe in his closet for Liv] My engagement ring. I thought for sure you'd sold that when I gave it back to you.
- Major Lilywhite: I couldn't stand the idea of anyone else ever wearing it. Besides, I never gave up hope that you'd want it back.
- [Dr. Lockett shows Vaughn Du Clark the Super Max effect on the zombie test subject]
- Dr. Lockett: As you can see, the test subject is struggling to keep up at three miles per hour, but once the Super Max enters the blood stream... the results are immediate. We can crank the treadmill up as high as nine miles per hour. Endurance and strength also sky rocket.
- [the zombie snarls while running]
- Vaughn Du Clark: Woah. I'm impressed, considering how little cash your typical member of the undead carries.
- Olivia Moore: You have a safe in your closet?
- Major Lilywhite: You're back.
- Olivia Moore: I didn't like how we left things, so I came back to apologize. When did you get the safe?
- Major Lilywhite: I got it when a giant zombie broke into my place last year.
- Olivia Moore: It gets worse. Detective Cavanaugh is on the case.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Detective Cavanaugh? That weasel-faced kiss-ass? He'd waterboard his own mom if it meant making lieutenant.
- Detective Cavanaugh: [enters] To make lieutenant? C'mon. I'm not a monster. Now, for captain's bars, I'd go full Gitmo on the old biddy.
- Ravi Chakrabarti: So what if he doesn't have an alibi? I don't have an alibi for her murder, either.
- [sighs]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: No. Wait. I do have an alibi. Witnesses, too. Airtight, really.