- [last lines]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Yeah, no kidding it'll make you crazy. You spend your life in a comfortable dream state believing in destiny. Then reality snaps you awake like a kick in the teeth. Bad things happen as often as good things. People who think they're meant to be together, aren't. Turns out we're nothing more than chemicals hurtling through space, haphazardly bouncing off each other.
- [there's a knock on Liv's front door]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Feeling stupid we ever believed there was some grand plan.
- [Liv opens the door, seeing an emotional Major on the other side]
- Major Lilywhite: I need help.
- [the two give each other a tight hug, the two begin to kiss, repeatedly, passionately]
- [Liv talks to Peyton for the first time since Peyton's return]
- Peyton Charles: You stalked me, and you brought me a present?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: That birthday cake you left last night. It meant the world to me.
- Peyton Charles: Look, um... When I left, I can't lie, I resented you. I can't tell if it was more, 'I can't believe my best friend is a zombie,' or, 'I can't believe my best friend didn't tell me she's a zombie.'
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I get that.
- Peyton Charles: While I was away I had a chance to put myself in your shoes, and... Ugh, I realized how hard this last year must have been for you. You gave up being a surgeon, you gave up the love of your life. And then I bailed.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Well, to be fair, you had just seen me stab someone in the head.
- [Liv is seen cooking Lacy Cantrell's brains, mixing eggs with flour and pinches of powdered spice, pieces of brains dropped into a batter, fried balls with a serving of hot sauce dip, as Liv begins to eat]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [groans] God help me, that smells sensational.
- [Steph meets Peyton in front of Ravi, as Peyton leaves the two alone on the couch]
- Steph: That's the girl you used to date?
- Steph: [holds her hand up to Ravi for a high-five] Damn, playa!
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: No, no. I'm not high-fiving that. I wasn't born yesterday.
- [Liv shows up to The Slow Roll country bar, explaining to Ravi how nervous she is]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: What? What's with the face?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [nervously] I'm sweating like a 10-dollar whore on nickel night. What if my voice cracks? What if, in the middle of my song, some redneck shouts out, 'Show us your hooters!' and I go into full-on zombie mode?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Oh, 'if, if, if.' If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump its bum when it jumps.
- [Liv gets on stage of The Slow Roll country bar to sing her song]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [speaking while strumming the intro to her song] Hi, I'm Liv. This is a song that I wrote about two people that I have gotten to know recently. They love each other, desperately, but they can't seem to stop hurting each other.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [begins to sing her song] So you heard from some folks that I ain't been true / I guess you still get gossip in the clink / It happened on one night, I was full of SoCo and lime / When a pretty boy bought me a drink / And he said, "Darlin', you're too pretty to be sad" / And I said, "Mister, I needed to hear that real bad"...
- [Babineaux leaves Liv a voicemail message regarding the case as a woman brings in a bag of something her son found]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [singing] There's only nightmares ahead of us / And sweet dreams long ago / It's time to wake up, baby / It's time I let you go / Oh oh, oh oh / I've got to let you... go.
- [Sue talks to Liv about how much he loved Lacy Cantrell]
- Sue: I liked your song. I think Lacy would've liked it, too. Growin' up, my dad used to tell me, "Son, you can screw up a steel ball." I did that with Lacy. I loved that girl.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Love ain't always enough.
- [as Don E talks to mute Chief about whether or not Christ was a zombie]
- Don E: Yeah, okay. Jesus rose from the dead. That doesn't make him a zombie if he doesn't eat brains.
- [mute Chief taps out a text message to Don E on his phone]
- Don E: Dude, that body-of-Christ stuff, that was for his *disciples* to eat. I don't know what you qualify when you make other people eat you.
- Blaine DeBeers: Narcissistic.
- [first lines]
- Jordan: [three kids walk down the street sharing a beer together] Yeah, my left nut you went to third base with Jolene Fisk.
- Dirt Mustache: You don't got to believe it. I've got my memories.
- Mama's Boy: Up the shirt's not third. Third's in-the-pants stuff.
- Jordan: Shut up, Butterball. The only boobs you've ever seen are your own.
- [Major wakes up in bed next to Gilda, as Gilda rolls over moaning to the half-naked Major]
- Gilda: Umm. Cut me off a piece of that for breakfast.
- [Major arrives home to find out Ravi named Major's new dog, Minor]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Things are different now with Minor here.
- Major Lilywhite: Minor?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: He was whining all night.
- Major Lilywhite: You named the dog Minor?
- [Clive and Liv go over the murder scene of Lacy Cantrell]
- Clive Babineaux: No DNA. Nobody saw anything, nobody heard anything. A flying start.
- Clive Babineaux: [Clive turns his head to Liv] What about you, Zoltar?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton. I'd say Lacy was a little bit country.
- Clive Babineaux: And I'm a little bit 'let's rock and roll.' Tell me something I can't see.
- [Clive reads a letter that murder victim Lacy Cantrell wrote to a man in prison, as Liv and Ravi listen along with]
- Clive Babineaux: Here we go. "I can't stop thinking about that bar in Lubbock, when that wildcatter started chatting me up. You threw him clean across the room. When we made love that n..." Oh, okay. Yeah, right.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I hate that phrase, "made love." It's like sex went and hired a PR firm.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Well, I just say, 'do sex.' You know, like, uh...
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [whispers in Clive's ear while grabbing his shoulder] 'Thank you for doing sex with me.'
- [Clive asks Liv if she wants to go with him on his lead to Lacy Cantrell's murder]
- Clive Babineaux: Sue's working at a pawn shop downtown. Wanna go for a ride?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Does the one-legged duck swim in circles?
- [Clive remains silent]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Is a pig's rump pork?
- Clive Babineaux: I'm gonna start walking. If all that meant yes, catch up.
- [Liv sits down with a guitar while in the pawn shop fingers and strums a G Major chord, getting the eye of the cashier]
- Phillip Nelson: You got a good eye there, Miss. How long you been playing?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Just picked it up.
- [Liv plays a rising chord progression over four frets]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [with a southern accent] Just like ringing a bell. I'll take it.
- [Liv plays the guitar back at the lab with Ravi beside her on the couch]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [singing] When you near beat a man to death and got yourself thrown in / Walla Walla State Pen
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Love and murder. Country song staples.
- [Liv sits beside Ravi and begins smelling what smells like cologne]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [sniffs] Are you wearing cologne?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Uh, it's called Desire-Rx. It has human pheromones in it. I'm a walking sex experiment.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Seeing Steph again tonight?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Obviously. She's my test subject.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Look at you! You don't know whether to wind your watch or scratch your ass.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: I'm fairly certain I do. My watch self-winds. My ass, on the other hand...
- [Ravi's date Steph questions him on the cologne scent he's wearing]
- Steph: You're wearing a cologne made of pheromones? How do you know whose pheromones are even in there?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: You think the cologne makers were like, 'Hey, death-row inmate, scrape some pheromones in this cup. There's a pack of cigarettes in it for you.'
- Steph: It's a possibility.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Me, I choose to believe they have the Hemsworth brothers on an elliptical wearing nothing but sponges.
- [Clive and Liv watch Lacy Cantrell's manager, Richard DePalma, speed off in his car after questioning him]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [in a southern accent] Well, butter my butt and call it a biscuit.
- [Blaine pays a visit to Gabriel, the thief who stole some of his Utopium]
- Gabriel: Welcome, brothers. Have you heard the good news? Jesus saves.
- Blaine DeBeers: That is good news. Do you know where he shops?
- [Blaine talks to Chief at the funeral home]
- Blaine DeBeers: [exhales] Two of our customers have gone missing now, Chief. Two. Poof. Gone. Like it's friggin' rich zombie rapture. Can't a guy make an honest living creating undead and selling them cadaver brains? Huh?
- [mute Chief types up a text message and shows it to Blaine]
- Blaine DeBeers: [reads aloud] "Two's not that bad," smiley face. Well, I appreciate the pep talk, big fella. I really do. But I don't think there's an emoji that rightfully expresses my feelings about losing 50K a month. You know?
- [Liv tells Major how she truly feels]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: From the moment that I met you I knew that we were meant to be together. I was sure of it. It was like fate. But that was before I witnessed a mass murder. Before I'd eaten fresh brain, before I'd lied to you, or let you put yourself in a mental hospital. It was before I watched you die. And it was before all of this cruelty was directed back at me. Now, I don't think space can fix what's wrong with us. We're a dream that's dead. I doubt that I will ever stop loving you, but it's over now. I gotta let you go. Completely. Forever.
- Major Lilywhite: [Without any emotion, Major replies] Perfect. Uh, thanks for stopping by.
- [Major then closes the front door on Liv]
- [Liv yells at Major with how she feels by him]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Hey! Stop! I'm coming here like and adult, trying to talk to you. How can you be this cold to me?
- Major Lilywhite: Who exactly am I being cold to? Huh? Uh, who-whose brain did you eat this week?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Oh, this is all me! And in case you've forgotten, I didn't ask for this. I went to a party because you told me I should. I woke up on a shore craving brains. And next thing I know, I've cracked this corpse's head open... How could I bring that home to you? How could I be your wife? I had become a monster. And I was confused, and I was dangerous. Every decision that I made last year, I made trying to protect you from my new reality. I-I know that in your eyes I screwed up badly along the line, but I did the best I could.
- Major Lilywhite: You know, I just... I keep asking you for some space, and every time I turn around, here you are.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [walks away but then pauses at the door] Why are you doing this?
- Major Lilywhite: Doing what?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Making me doubt the only thing in my life that I was sure was real.
- [Gilda arrives home with Liv and Peyton on the couch]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Gilda!
- Gilda: Hi.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Want some Tom Yum soup? I ordered it extra-spicy.
- Gilda: Thanks, but, uh, new diet. No eating after 6:00.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [softly] Unless it's a whiskey sour.