The Muppets. (TV Series)
Hostile Makeover (2015)
Steve Whitmire: Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Beaker, Statler, The Newsman, Lips
Photos
Quotes
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Kermit the Frog : We've created a color code alert system to track Piggy's moods. Green, she's calm, but we've never been at green. Yellow, she's in tears. Orange, *I'm* in tears. And with a code red, if she locks eyes with you, it's already too late!
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Scooter : [terrified] We got a big problem with Piggy! She's...
Kermit the Frog : Scooter, Scooter, Scooter! Listen, relax. We talked about overreacting to things.
Uncle Deadly : It's a code red.
Kermit the Frog : [freaking out; to the other Muppets] Code red! Code red! This is not a drill!
[the Muppets are driven into a frenzy]
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Fozzie Bear : Hey, guys! You're not gonna believe this. I just got an e-vite to a party at Jay Leno's house!
Gonzo : Oh, I get those spam e-mails all the time. You know, from my "mother" who's "stuck overseas," "needs money." You just delete them.
Kermit the Frog : Uh, Gonzo, isn't your mother on a South American cruise?
Gonzo : Yeah, and I'm a little worried. I haven't heard from her in a while.
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[a frustrated Kermit drives his golf cart around the studio lot really fast and almost runs into Laurence Fishburne]
Laurence Fishburne : Hey!
Kermit the Frog : Oh, oh, oh my goodness!
Laurence Fishburne : Watch where you're going, frog!
Kermit the Frog : I'm sorry, Laurence! Uh, uh... Hey, hey, when are you going to come to the show?
Laurence Fishburne : Well, if it keeps on sucking the way it did last night - NEVER!
[leaves]
Kermit the Frog : Good to see you, too.
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Laurence Fishburne : Hey, Kermit?
Kermit the Frog : Yeah?
Laurence Fishburne : I just want to say I'm sorry about what I said about your show sucking.
Kermit the Frog : Yeah?
Laurence Fishburne : I just had a really rough night.
Kermit the Frog : Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?
Laurence Fishburne : I watched your show - AND IT SUCKED!
[laughs as he leaves again]
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Kermit the Frog : Where's Piggy?
Josh Groban : Oh, she's in the middle of getting a hot stone massage right now. Can I help you?
Kermit the Frog : [seeing Piggy getting the massage Groban was talking about] Piggy? I got to talk to her.
Josh Groban : [blocking Kermit's path] Anything you need to say to my lady, you can say to me.
Kermit the Frog : Okay, then, fine. The guy you're dating is an absolute nightmare, and you got to get rid of him.
Josh Groban : Oh yeah? Well, you're a little insecure swamp rat whom nobody's talking about! That was her response to you, not mine. I think you're terrific.
Kermit the Frog : Will you stop trying to turn Piggy into you?
Josh Groban : Wouldn't the world be a better place if everybody was a little more like me?
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[Kermit, Scooter, and Uncle Deadly are hiding under a desk during Miss Piggy's tirade]
Miss Piggy : [shouting] Who replaced my thick Sharpies with fine-tipped Sharpies? I'm signing autographs, not writing the Bible on a grain of rice!
Kermit the Frog : I have a feeling this isn't about pen thickness.
Uncle Deadly : So, I was fitting Piggy for a new dress...
Kermit the Frog : Oh, no, no. You forgot to cut out the tag? She knows her size?
Uncle Deadly : Oh please. I've woven such a cocoon of lies, she doesn't know her size, weight, or even how old she is.
Miss Piggy : [still shouting] Look at this nonsense: pencils, highlighters, a BACKSCRATCHER? If you're itchy, take care of it at home!
Kermit the Frog : What is going on?
Scooter : The People's Choice Awards are coming up and she doesn't have a date.
Uncle Deadly : Shocking. She seems like such pleasant company.
[Kermit, Scooter, and Uncle Deadly laugh]
Miss Piggy : [still shouting] How dare you try to calm me down with cake! Gimme that cake!