Timothée Chalamet credited as playing...
Kyle Scheible
- Kyle Scheible: Do you have any like, awareness about how many civilians we've killed since invasion in Iraq started?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Shut up! Shut up. Different things can be sad. It's not all war. Are we still going to prom together?
- Kyle Scheible: Sure.
- Kyle Scheible: What you do is very baller. You're very anarchist.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah. Fuck' em.
- Kyle Scheible: Don't worry, I'm not gonna snitch on you.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well, I hope not 'cause I'd fucking kill your family.
- Kyle Scheible: What?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sorry. I... that was an exaggeration.
- Kyle Scheible: It's okay. My dad has cancer, so I guess God's doing that for us.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I just wanted it to be special.
- Kyle Scheible: Why? You're going to have so much un-special sex in your life.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh, it's my parents' number.
- Kyle Scheible: You don't have a cell phone?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No.
- Kyle Scheible: Good girl. The government didn't have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I don't own a tracking device.
- Kyle Scheible: No, no, no. The cellphones. You see?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wow.
- Kyle Scheible: Yeah I know. I mean, you'll have one eventually. Everyones gonna have one. And then, it'll be a matter of time.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Before what?
- Kyle Scheible: Before they put them in our brains.
- Kyle Scheible: I didn't lose my virginity to you.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wait, what?
- Kyle Scheible: I lost my virginity to Cassie Duvall.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Excuse me? You said you were a virgin.
- Kyle Scheible: No, I didn't. 'Cause I'm not. And I haven't lied in two years.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Hey.
- [pause]
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I like your band. With Jonah Ruiz? L'Enfance Nue?
- Kyle Scheible: [in french accent] L'Enfance Nue.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh. Well, I saw your Thanksgiving show. My name's Lady Bird.
- Kyle Scheible: It's weird you shake hands.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.
- [pause]
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm friends with Jenna and she's always talking about how great your band is so I wanted to check it out.
- Kyle Scheible: Yeah, Jenna's hella tight.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.
- Kyle Scheible: Maybe I'll see you at the Deuce or something?
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sure, see you at the Deuce.
- Miguel McPherson: Hey, I'm not paying you to flirt.
- Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [exhales] I wasn't flirting.
- Kyle Scheible: I wish you had been.