- Tennis Judge: OUT.
- Stewie Griffin: What?
- Tennis Judge: Your ball was long.
- Stewie Griffin: Are you
- [bleep]
- Stewie Griffin: me? That thing was in! You're gonna penalize us because you're a blind
- [bleep]
- Stewie Griffin: blue jacket
- [bleep]
- Stewie Griffin: !
- Brian Griffin: Stewie, calm down!
- Stewie Griffin: I will drop you to your knees and shove your racket so far down your throat you'll be
- [bleep]
- Stewie Griffin: my grip for a week!
- Tennis Judge: Warning, Mr. Griffin.
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, you are warning ME? I'm warning YOU! I'm gonna go to your house and
- [bleep]
- Stewie Griffin: your wife!
- Neil Goldman: [Speaking to Chris in the school cafeteria and eyeing a girl] Holy moly it's Marcie Miller. She bought feminine products at my dad's pharmacy, so you know she's up and running.
- Joe Swanson: I'm sorry, Lois, but it's not that simple. When Chris sent that picture, he was technically distributing child pornography.
- Lois Griffin: Child pornography? Joe, that's crazy! He's just a teenager who made a bad choice.
- Joe Swanson: I don't know what to say, but the laws just haven't caught up to how cool kids are now. I'm sorry, but this makes Chris a sex offender.
- Lois Griffin: Oh, my God!
- Brian Griffin: Ok, so this place has hot women, morning booze and free vomit? Well, maybe I'll join ya.