- Peter Griffin: Come on Joe, don't be so negative. You're like a Boston fortune cookie.
- Peter Griffin: [cut to Peter opening a fortune cookie] "I don't know, numbnuts. Maybe open a garage and fill it with hockey equipment." Huh. Well, let's see what my lucky numbers are. "Screw you, math dick." Well, that wasn't very helpful at all!
- Rudolph the Uncircumcised Reindeer: I don't know. Mrs. Clause says it will decrease my sensitivity.
- Santa Clause: I'm sorry, Why are you talking to my wife about this?
- Tiny Tom Cruise: You are making a big Mistake Stewie! Nobody walks away from Tiny Tom Cruise.
- Stewie: Yeah except for All Three of your wives.
- Brian Griffin: You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.
- Tiny Tom Cruise: The middle of the word short is Or; Or gives you a choice and I choose not to be short.
- Stewie: Wow - you need a road map for that one.
- Peter Griffin: Why do you have all those Wizard of Oz plates?
- Joe Swanson: Because if I finish all of my vegetables, I get to see the yellow brick road.
- Peter Griffin: Alright, you've sold me.