Mother's Day (I) (2016)

Matthew Walker: Randy the Clown

Quotes 

• Sandy : That was a historic disaster. Oh... I mean, this is all so stupid. This is so stupid. Look at all this. What am I doing? I mean, you know... Ugh, I feel like such an idiot. So, what I'm basically doing is I'm trying to compete with my ex-husband and a 20-year-old. That just makes a lot of sense, right, Jess? It's stupid. You know what it is? I just... I just hate feeling so replaceable.

  Randy the Clown : Well, sadly we all are.

  Sandy : Oh, geez, you scared the crap out of me.

  Randy the Clown : I mean, we're all replaceable. For every professional clown, there's 100 hacks with a red nose and a wig waiting to do the job.

  Sandy : Yeah, I understand. Thanks, clown. Jesse?

  Randy the Clown : There's no way that the bond you have with your kids can ever be broken. I mean, there's no contest, right? You're their mom.

  Sandy : Mmm-hmm.

  Randy the Clown : Oh, let me help.

  Sandy : Oh... Thank... Okay.

  Randy the Clown : Yeah? See?

  Sandy : It's this, I get it, never-ending scarf bit. Yeah, it's the first time you got to use this one today, huh?

  Randy the Clown : Ah... Got a smile from you.

  Sandy : That's great. Do you mind if I rub...

  Randy the Clown : Please.

  Sandy : Thank you very much.

  Randy the Clown : It's always the traditional things that work, the bottomless sleeve hanky, the bottomless cup of coffee, the bottomless love from a mother to her kids. They know it's there. Sometimes they just take it for granted.

  Sandy : Yeah.

  Randy the Clown : So what if the other girl is 20, has great skin and probably looks insane in a bikini?

  Sandy : Okay, that's good, I get it. Nice pep talk there, clown. Thank you, clown. Never thought I'd ever hear myself say that, but thank you, clown.

  Randy the Clown : My pleasure.

  Sandy : Mmm. A heart-to-heart with a clown. There was not a soul to see that. He could have murdered me.