- [Kermit has asked the other Muppets to be available for one-on-one interviews with the documentary crews]
- The Great Gonzo: [to the camera] One-on-one interviews? What an overused device. You tell the camera how you really feel, and then they cut back to you saying something completely different. I hate these interviews.
- [cut back to Kermit's meeting]
- The Great Gonzo: I love those interviews! Great device!
- Fozzie Bear: [opening "Up Late With Miss Piggy"] I'm Fozzie Bear, and it's my job to warm up the audience with jokes. Ahh!
- [sways hips]
- Statler: [sitting in the front row] Oh god, we're gonna die of hypothermia.
- Waldorf: I hope it comes quick.
- [both laugh]
- Fozzie Bear: I really want to make a good impression Becky's parents. She's the first girl I've dated in a long time. When your online profile say "Passionate bear looking for love", you get a lot of wrong responses... not wrong... just wrong for me.
- Carl: Alright, I'm just gonna be blunt. What if you have children? How would you raise them? Where would they go to the bathroom? In the woods?
- Fozzie Bear: Okay, *that* is an offensive stereotype!
- Fozzie Bear: [as Kermit goes over last night's show with the other Muppets] I've got a question: I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents after work tonight. Should I bring a bottle of champagne?
- Kermit the Frog: What does that have to do with the show?
- Fozzie Bear: You're right. Here's a show-related question: there's a bottle of champagne in our kitchen. Is that anybody's?