Self - Host: It was not an easy news week, so let's start with something positive. How about the Pope? I love him again.
[cheers and applause]
Self - Host: The Pope opened a can of whoop-ass on greedy, polluting industrialist assholes. He said climate change is real, he said we are living in a structural perverse economic system where the rich exploit the poor, and it's turning the Earth into an immense pile of filth. And the Republican response was swift and immediate. They said, "And?"
[laughter and applause]
Self - Host: "What's your point, papi? Go back to washing feet." Also, second good piece of news, the Treasury announced that by the end of the decade, there's gonna be a woman on the ten-dollar bill.
[applause]
Self - Host: We've never had a woman on paper currency, and, uh... they thought it was gonna be Harriet Tubman, uh, the abolitionist, uh, from the Civil War era, but, uh, they found out just yesterday she was actually a white girl from Spokane, so...
[laughter]
Self - Host: So it's not gonna happen.