Wunschpunsch (TV Series)

Colorless Chaos (2000)

Harry Hill: Jacob Scribble

Quotes 

• Maurizio di Mauro : ...And my beautiful coloring is the mark of great breeding. Thanks to my great aristocratic ancestors, who date...

  Jacob Scribble : I know, I know. All the way back to the Renaissance.

  Maurizio di Mauro : And, Jacob, my coat is not only stunning, but also very useful. Just watch as I charm a treat from a helpless admirer.

  [He starts caterwauling. Jacob puts on a pair of earmuffs] 

• Jacob Scribble : Ohhh, looks like that's the extent of her admiration! Just a black-and-white blush!

• Jacob Scribble : Maurizio, I have it! What's more natural than a blush?

  Maurizio di Mauro : Jake, I think I know where you're heading with this.

• Jacob Scribble : Moe! What are you doing?

  Maurizio di Mauro : [brandishing a fire hose at the chameleon]  I've had enough mood nonsense! It's time to rinse him off! Maybe it'll make his colors run!

• [Jacob and Maurizio are standing on the curb. Maurizio looks depressed] 

  Jacob Scribble : Maurizio, listen to me-!

  Maurizio di Mauro : [flatly]  You'd better go on without me.

  [He walks out into the busy road] 

  Maurizio di Mauro : I'll only hold you back.

  Jacob Scribble : Hold me back?

  [Maurizio is walking through the busy street, at a fairly brisk pace but not watching the cars, buses and bicycles narrowly missing him] 

  Jacob Scribble : Why, without you I'd be just another spell-breaker with a beak and two arthritic wings!

  [He sees a car about to hit Maurizio and shoves him out of the way. They both hit a shop window and stick there] 

  Jacob Scribble : And do you know why? Because you are brimming with nobility.

  Maurizio di Mauro : You mean brimming with black and white.

  Jacob Scribble : Looks like we have no choice but to go to Auntie Noah's, and get the spell-reversing riddle.

  [the two pop off of the window] 

  Maurizio di Mauro : Yeah. Just promise you won't let me look at any mirrors. I might get depressed.

  Jacob Scribble : I promise.

• Maurizio di Mauro : [looking at his reflection in a car fender]  My colors! I'm... I'm... a commoner!

  Jacob Scribble : Oh, come on, now, Maurizio, it's not that bad!

  Maurizio di Mauro : That's easy for you to say! You're always dull and drab!

• Maurizio di Mauro : I wonder why the spell didn't affect us?

  Jacob Scribble : You can stop wondering.

• Maurizio di Mauro : All clear, Jacob. Your girlfriend's gone.

  [He stifles a giggle] 

  Jacob Scribble : [from inside the envelope]  She's not my girlfriend!

• Maurizio di Mauro : Thanks for the lift, Jacob.

  Jacob Scribble : My pleasure. One of these days, maybe you can carry me for a change. Or at least go on a diet.

• Maurizio di Mauro : That's the spirit! Now, go out there and set things right!

  Jacob Scribble : Uh, Maurizio? We're the ones who are supposed to be setting things right.

  Maurizio di Mauro : Well, uh, what are we waiting for?