- Mr. Frond: The last team will be the Belcher kids. There are three of you, but I don't really see that as an advantage.
- Tina Belcher: Don't underestimate us. Our family's motto is, "Maybe we'll get lucky this time."
- Gene Belcher: I thought it was, "Stop touching that! You're getting it all greasy!"
- Louise Belcher: Gene, you were born for this assignment.
- Gene Belcher: I'm like the Steve Jobs of sitting on the couch for three days.
- Tammy: [to her dad] I can't believe you won't go to detention for me.
- Tammy's Dad: I already told you, if I could I would, but I can't fit into your clothes, Tammy. You know I want to.
- Tammy: You want to go to detention for me or you want to wear my clothes?
- Jimmy Pesto: [rolls his car window down] Hey, Belcher! You got three kids in detention, huh?
- Bob Belcher: Yeah, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Pesto: I only got one. I win!
- Bob Belcher: Well, I had none in detention yesterday! How many did you have in...
- [Jimmy rolls his window up]
- Bob Belcher: Don't roll up your window! Roll it back down!
- Sally: So, are you guys gonna buy any magazines?
- Linda Belcher: No, Sally, 'cause your life is a lie.
- Tammy: I can't believe I have to work with Tina. She smells like failure and her hair smells like ketchup.
- Tina Belcher: It's not like I want to work with you, either, Tammy. And you're wrong. My hair doesn't smell like ketchup. My skin does.
- Tammy: Hey, Tina. How about a little side bet? Winner gets to wear their sparkle jelly bracelet, loser has to throw theirs in the trash.
- Tina Belcher: You have a deal.
- Tammy: We have a deal like Ally McBeal.
- Tina Belcher: We have a deal like Steven Spiel... berg.
- Gene Belcher: You can take our Saturday morning, but you'll hopefully never take away our mid-to-late Saturday afternoon!
- Linda Belcher: Today was a good day.
- Bob Belcher: Yeah. We got screwed, but Jimmy Pesto got screwed more.
- Linda Belcher: Yeah.
- Gene Belcher: I can't believe we're at school on a Saturday. The Cotton Candy Festival is today at Wonder Wharf!
- Tina Belcher: I heard they have unusual and exotic flavors like lasagna.
- Gene Belcher: And chimichurri!
- Bob Belcher: Well, you'll never know since you'll all be in detention.
- Louise Belcher: Dad, Tina will give you all the money in her bank account if you take us to Wonder Wharf right now.
- Tina Belcher: Please? By the time we get out of detention, the festival will be over.
- Linda Belcher: Well, you should've thought about that before you got in trouble. Good kids eat cotton, bad kids eat notton.
- Mr. Frond: Well? Do any of you have anything to say for yourselves after what happened yesterday at school?
- Louise Belcher: I have something to say. I'd like to apologize on behalf of Tammy. She's a horrible person who caused all of this and everyone should be released from this hell pit except her. Thank you.
- Linda Belcher: Hi, sweetie. Can I help you?
- Sally: Hi. Good afternoon. My name is Sally. I hope that you're enjoying your day. Would you like to buy some magazine subscriptions to help me learn communication skills, help me buy textbooks and send me on a trip to Turtle Camp in Florida? I'm only 283 points away from my goal.
- Linda Belcher: Turtle Camp?
- Bob Belcher: Uh, no, thanks. We're-we're not interested. At all.
- Linda Belcher: Aw. I love turtles. What do you do at camp? You get in a little canoe with them? Do turtle crafts?
- Sally: You can select up to ten magazines from any of these titles for only $17.
- Teddy: That sounds like a great deal.
- Bob Belcher: Fake. This is fake. Not real.
- Linda Belcher: I'll take a look!
- Bob Belcher: Fake.
- Bob Belcher: Lin, Th... they never send you the magazines.
- Sally: You will start receiving issues within 30 days.
- Bob Belcher: Uh, hold on one second, Sally. Quick conversation over here with my wife.
- [to Linda]
- Bob Belcher: Lin, no.
- Linda Belcher: They have "Open-Toe Living".
- Bob Belcher: Linda, it's a scam. You give them money and they just take it.
- Linda Belcher: Sally's a scammer? Our Sally?
- Bob Belcher: Somebody's scamming her, too. They put her up to it.
- Teddy: [leans over to Bob and Linda] What are we talking about over here?
- Linda Belcher: Somebody is scamming Sally.
- Teddy: Bastard!
- Linda Belcher: We got to help her.
- Bob Belcher: Or we can just nicely ask her to leave.
- Linda Belcher: No, Bobby. We lost three kids to detention today. We're not losing Sally, too.
- Tammy: Ugh, you copied my bracelet, Tina and now you want to take my stapler?
- Tina Belcher: Why don't you staple your mouth shut 'cause your face keeps falling open and dumb words keep coming out.
- Mr. Frond: Now it's time to pick a winner and see who will get immunity and move directly to the final round.
- Ms. Schnur: Zeke, Jimmy Jr., I found your look incredibly offensive. I am not a couch. Tammy, Jocelyn, your flirty outfit would send the wrong message to the Chinese food delivery guy. His name is Enrique and he's already very forward with me. Belcher children, your model fell over and destroyed all my photographs of Nathan.
- Tammy: Hey, Tina! You guys are gonna lose! So bracelet in your facelet is what I'm talking about!
- Tina Belcher: You want to go, Tammy? Want to go?
- Tina Belcher: I don't need this sparkle jelly to dazzle. I dazzle on my own. We all do except for Tammy.