- Mitchell Pritchett: Hey, sweetie, hi. How was your day?
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: Better than hers.
- [Referring to Cameron, who's crying]
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: What's wrong now?
- Mitchell Pritchett: Daddy's just having a moment.
- Lily Tucker-Pritchett: He's always having a moment.
- Haley Dunphy: How long can picking a nerdy roommate take? They're all versions of you. Look - Indian you, blonde you, Asian you... Oh, look! Her name is actually Yu.
- Haley Dunphy: [Phil is standing in front of a closed theater] Dad, you know that it's not a movie called 'Demolition Notice', right?
- Phil Dunphy: You know what? We're bustin' in.
- Luke Dunphy: How? Smash the window with a brick?
- Phil Dunphy: I had something more elegant in mind.
- [Starts feeling the front door]
- Phil Dunphy: I think you forget that I gave birth to this building. I know her strengths... and... her weaknesses.
- [Rattles the door but it won't open]
- Phil Dunphy: Did you see a brick?