"Maria, Argentinien und die Sache mit den Weißwürsten", which means "Maria, Argentina and the Bavarian sausage affair", is a German television film from 2016, so this one will have its fifth anniversary next year. Maybe it happened already depending on when you read this review and maybe you have come to this page because the film is on again and you consider watching it. Let me suggest you to skip this film instead. You can stop wathcing here. Just watch something else instead. Okay, you are still here, so let's keep going with the review. The director of these under 1.5 hours is Markus Herling, who is closing in on 60 now, but his body of work is neither really prolific nor something to be proud of at all. So no surprise how this movie turned out. The writer is another Markus, namely Markus B. Altmeyer and he was only 30 or so when this film got made and his body of work is about as big as Herling's already now depspite the age difference, but as for the quality is also the exact same there. Namely absence. The Ein Sommer in..." film is the best example and his really recent movie "Bingo im Kopf" is perfect evidence that he is not improving either. As for the cast, you see the lead actress on the photo here on imdb. Of course, it is Bavarian Christine Neubauer, for me maybe the worst German actress who ever existed. Doubtful honor, but feels accurate. have seen her on many occasions and she is almost always horrible. Rarely she is just bad like in this film, but still completely miscast and I will never change my opinion that this "acctress" never should have been cast in anything, most of all not for lead characters. But can you really blame her for makinga career and a lot of money this way. The ones really to blame are those who choose her to star in their movies. Despicable. In order to make sure we never think this is about anybody else, they also only included her name in the title this time, followed by a country and a delicacy. Well, I am a vegetarian, so I cannot say I appreciate the movie at all from this perspective, but hey it just adds more negative. Even if I was not, it would be impossible for me to appreciate the outcome here. It's an ARD Degeto film and they have made hundreds of crappy movies, so this one is certainly not an exception. Also who is Ariane Krampe? The new Regina Ziegler? Her body of work could make you think so. By the way, initially the working title for this one was just "Viva Argentina", so a really short title and the exact opposite of the long one they eventually went with, but I think I still prefer the actual title, even if it is a bit clumsy, but at least it says somethhing about the contents of the film. However, Argentina they seemed sure would always be a title of this film, but if I was Argentinian, then there is no way I would want a crappy films like this to represent mmy country. At least, Argentina is not a production company here, but no surprise either. These Degeto films are almost always German and German-only productions. Still there are several foreign acttors in here of course, which makes totally sense because the film is almost completely set in Argentina.
Now a few words on the plot and story. This is always key for me in evaluating if I like a movie or not. No matter how good stuff like music, visual effects, sets etc. may be, it is difficult to appreciate a film if the plot is nonsense. And the plot is nonsense here. But all the other fields are too. So it comes pretty easy to deliver a negative verdict here. They key idea is already so poorly executed. It was not Neubauer's character at all who wanted to go to Argentina to promote the sausages, but the one who intended to gets injured after a fall from a ladder or so. So pseudo dramatic and for the sake of the story really. And all rushed in in basically three minutes or so. Embarrassing. Also how the nephew goes with them. First of all he and Neubauer's character do not have much of a connection, but also it is an important business journey, so why would you take a kid with you. Oh well, of course for us not to forget that Neubauer is a cutie way in her 50s too, she has a suitor there in Argentina too, who compliments her on her traditional Bavarian dress photos and also on her dress in the now. Even if there is some struggling beteen these two as well, but once Neubauer's character gets her significant character trannsformation, it all gets better. This was certainly the most meaningful twist this film had to offer, but the talent just wasn't there to pull this off, neither in terms of acting, not in terms of writing. Gently-speaking. I could also say it felt pathetic. One example is the moment when she is on her own next to that Bavarian store there in Argentina and crying and letting it all out. I cringed. But I did not cringe as much as during the scene when we see her move to the music of Ave Maria. Literally, the only thing missing here was Santana's Maria song. Then it would have just been too much. The professional happy ending is there too of course, not with the failed sausage project in South America (this was apparently too absurd for them even), but we get a call from home out of nowhere, from Germany where we find out that everything is going well financially and there is a huge success coming up. Okay, there is a lot of stupidity in this film, but if I say it is not as bad as other Neubauer films, then you can imagine very well how bad they must be. More cringe here comes from everything related to the young male, who is also not portrayed by a talented actor. So accurate for a film like this you could say. His romance story with the Argentine girl, the conflict with her initially receiving money to spend time with him, the potentially suicidal background (a shot at dark comedy? gone wrong in any case) and the usual "kid runs away, grown-up is worried" story were not inspired at all. Still Tijan Marei is a cutie. Not gonna lie there. Made the film a bit more watchable this way, but also not thtough her performance. But she is not to blame because her character felt incredibly empty and shallow. Not the character's character, but the way the character was written. Also a bit cringeworthy how she is always surrounded by boys and there are never any girls. To get in some local highlight at least, they are talking a bit about beauty contests and football matches, but these also just feel for the sake of it and a bit clumsy, even if they probably were not among the worst aspects from this film. But you get it, again this is just because the other aspects are so horrible and definitely not because these are any good. They are just there. So eventually with all that went wrong here, also the relationship between aunt and nephew with them hugging it out in the end or how Neubauer's character is of course true professional and has received so many awards for her sausages (she is always a successful independent businesswoman in her films), I do not hesitate one second before giving this film a massive thumbs-down. Skip at any cost. Also Neubauer's character gets a male suitor ten years her junior almost. Nothing has changed compared to her previous work. Don't say this is a comeback for her. It's the same mess as always. Highly not recommended.
Now a few words on the plot and story. This is always key for me in evaluating if I like a movie or not. No matter how good stuff like music, visual effects, sets etc. may be, it is difficult to appreciate a film if the plot is nonsense. And the plot is nonsense here. But all the other fields are too. So it comes pretty easy to deliver a negative verdict here. They key idea is already so poorly executed. It was not Neubauer's character at all who wanted to go to Argentina to promote the sausages, but the one who intended to gets injured after a fall from a ladder or so. So pseudo dramatic and for the sake of the story really. And all rushed in in basically three minutes or so. Embarrassing. Also how the nephew goes with them. First of all he and Neubauer's character do not have much of a connection, but also it is an important business journey, so why would you take a kid with you. Oh well, of course for us not to forget that Neubauer is a cutie way in her 50s too, she has a suitor there in Argentina too, who compliments her on her traditional Bavarian dress photos and also on her dress in the now. Even if there is some struggling beteen these two as well, but once Neubauer's character gets her significant character trannsformation, it all gets better. This was certainly the most meaningful twist this film had to offer, but the talent just wasn't there to pull this off, neither in terms of acting, not in terms of writing. Gently-speaking. I could also say it felt pathetic. One example is the moment when she is on her own next to that Bavarian store there in Argentina and crying and letting it all out. I cringed. But I did not cringe as much as during the scene when we see her move to the music of Ave Maria. Literally, the only thing missing here was Santana's Maria song. Then it would have just been too much. The professional happy ending is there too of course, not with the failed sausage project in South America (this was apparently too absurd for them even), but we get a call from home out of nowhere, from Germany where we find out that everything is going well financially and there is a huge success coming up. Okay, there is a lot of stupidity in this film, but if I say it is not as bad as other Neubauer films, then you can imagine very well how bad they must be. More cringe here comes from everything related to the young male, who is also not portrayed by a talented actor. So accurate for a film like this you could say. His romance story with the Argentine girl, the conflict with her initially receiving money to spend time with him, the potentially suicidal background (a shot at dark comedy? gone wrong in any case) and the usual "kid runs away, grown-up is worried" story were not inspired at all. Still Tijan Marei is a cutie. Not gonna lie there. Made the film a bit more watchable this way, but also not thtough her performance. But she is not to blame because her character felt incredibly empty and shallow. Not the character's character, but the way the character was written. Also a bit cringeworthy how she is always surrounded by boys and there are never any girls. To get in some local highlight at least, they are talking a bit about beauty contests and football matches, but these also just feel for the sake of it and a bit clumsy, even if they probably were not among the worst aspects from this film. But you get it, again this is just because the other aspects are so horrible and definitely not because these are any good. They are just there. So eventually with all that went wrong here, also the relationship between aunt and nephew with them hugging it out in the end or how Neubauer's character is of course true professional and has received so many awards for her sausages (she is always a successful independent businesswoman in her films), I do not hesitate one second before giving this film a massive thumbs-down. Skip at any cost. Also Neubauer's character gets a male suitor ten years her junior almost. Nothing has changed compared to her previous work. Don't say this is a comeback for her. It's the same mess as always. Highly not recommended.
