- Joe Swanson: I guess all our detective agency needs now is a name
- Peter Griffin: Well, we're detectives solving children's crimes. There's only one name that makes sense
- Glenn Quagmire: Dicks for Kids?
- Peter Griffin: Dicks for Kids.
- Glenn Quagmire: But wait, we want people to know we're grown-ups.
- Peter Griffin: Okay. Big Dicks for Kids.
- Joe Swanson: Oh, we don't want to sound too old. They're gonna think we're a bunch of old bald geezers.
- Peter Griffin: Big Hairy Dicks for Kids.
- Cleveland Brown: How are we going to let them know we're veiny?
- Mayor Adam West: You were set up too, huh?
- Peter Griffin: Yeah.
- Mayor Adam West: You realize that kid is plowing both our wives right now.
- Stewie Griffin: Ugh, I can't deal with anything after I've had my after-nap coffee.
- Brian Griffin: I don't think guys should have two hands on a coffee mug ever.
- Stewie Griffin: What?
- [sounds sexually suggestive]
- Stewie Griffin: Mmmmm... Oh, yummy.
- Brian Griffin: Don't do that either. Just... Just... don't do anything.
- Cleveland Brown: You think other guys hang out and watch their friend's naked gyrating butt?
- Joe Swanson: It's been so long, I don't know what other friends do.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, I was at the park with Stewie and someone stole his tricycle. And during like the one second I was looking down at my phone and not at him.
- Lois Griffin: Maybe it's our fault Chris has such a screwed-up idea about what a relationship is. I mean, let's be honest, we're not exactly the model of a healthy marriage.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, boy, is this 'cause of the time I pushed off of you after sex and bruised your boob?
- Peter Griffin: C'mon Chris, don't sell yourself short. You're every bit as good as that bag of garbage.
- Peter Griffin: Oh Lois, thank god. I can't decide what I want for breakfast tomorrow. Can you make me a sample tray?