Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)
Kimmy Has a Birthday! (2015)
Ellie Kemper: Kimmy Schmidt
Photos
Quotes
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[at Kimmy's birthday party]
Kimmy Schmidt : Why do you keep playing the same song over and over?
Titus Andromedon : These are all different! Can you not tell house from electronicon?
Kimmy Schmidt : No. Can you at least play music that has words in it?
[Titus turns on a song whose lyrics consist of the repeated line "I beat that bitch with a bat"]
Titus Andromedon : [explanatory] I can't fix America.
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Kimmy Schmidt : Look, tonight is about the birthday girl. 'Cause you can't spell Kimmy without "me"!
Titus Andromedon : Yes you can. You have to!
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Kimmy Schmidt : Stupid birthday. Stupid Kymmi. Ugh! And why do these heels keep poking through the floor?
Lillian Kaushtupper : Not because the floors are just painted dirt. This is a real apartment.
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Kimmy Schmidt : [picking up a high heel] Ugh, how do you even walk in these things?
Lillian Kaushtupper : Oh, well, you know high heels were invented by a man, Kimmy. 'Cause no woman ever invented anything.
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[Dong and Logan are fighting over Kimmy]
Kimmy Schmidt : Stop it! Why are you fighting?
Dong Nguyen : Bicycle is my present! I made it because of love!
Logan Beekman : I assume you're talking about the tennis score there, because you did it for nothing.
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[Titus has just sung Katy Perry's "Firework" to Kimmy under the pretense that he wrote it for Kimmy as a birthday present]
Kimmy Schmidt : Wow! That's very catchy. Some constructive criticism?
Titus Andromedon : What?
Kimmy Schmidt : I don't think anyone says "a firework," singular. It's "fireworks."
Titus Andromedon : Hmm.
Kimmy Schmidt : Also, "work" doesn't rhyme with "burst." And I'm not sure why you would compare me to a plastic bag, but I like it.