Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)
Brad Pitt (2014)
Brad Pitt: Self
Photos
Quotes
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Himself - Host : [Looking down at his notes] Ok it's written down here, I just had to ask.
Brad Pitt : I understand.
Himself - Host : After a big meal at thanksgiving, do you ever just unbutton your pants and pat your stomach and say "oh boy"
Brad Pitt : I don't recall doing that.
Himself - Host : You do a lot of charity work and I think that's really great thing you do and I was wondering if you could tell us about your charity work because I also involved in a lot of charity work myself.
Brad Pitt : Like what?
Himself - Host : I work with this one group called "doctors without diplomas"
Himself - Host : So tell us about your charity work?
Brad Pitt : Yeah it's something I'm really proud of, it's called "Make it right organization", we started building in the Lower Ninth after Hurricane Katrina...
Himself - Host : Hold on one second I have to liven this up
[presses the button on the table and music starts playing]
Himself - Host : [Louis C.K. enters the stage with a microphone in-between Brad and Zach] Ladies and gentlemen, Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. : [talking with the microphone, imitating a stand-up comedy act] Hey, how's it going everybody? It's great to be here in New York, it's a crazy town, there were a couple rats in the subway and I thought they were either Ebola or ISIS, I was like " get out of here rats.
Himself - Host : [to Louis C.K. about Brad] he looks like a reverse Benjamin Buttons doesn't he? Because he gets older and fatter.
Louis C.K. : [Confused to Zach] Who are you talking to?
Himself - Host : [to Louis C.K. and Points to Brad] I was talking to my friend, I don't know about you, but he was in Benjamin Buttons, he was in it, that's why I said it
Louis C.K. : [to Brad] Who's "Benjamin Buttons?
Himself - Host : [Pointing at Brad] The guy "Benjamin Bottoms,", Buttons, that's the guy, you can't recognize him because of the make-up stuff
Brad Pitt : [to Louis C.K] No it wasn't make up.
Louis C.K. : I don't care
[walks off the stage]
Himself - Host : When you and Clooney get dressed up in your tuxes together and say "aren't we a couple of dapper Dans?"
Brad Pitt : [Shakes his head] Never happened to my recollection.
Himself - Host : Is it hard for you to maintain a suntan?
Brad Pitt : Why?
Himself - Host : Because you live in your "wife's shadow because I also had a romantic "fling" with someone...
Brad Pitt : [Intentionally interrupts him by coughs a piece of gum onto the table] I'm sorry
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Zach Galifianakis - Host : Hi, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, my guest today is "Bradley Pitts"
Zach Galifianakis - Host : [to Brad] Bradley Pitts", thanks for joining me.
Brad Pitt : It's my pleasure.
Zach Galifianakis - Host : How were you when you lost your virginity? Zero?
Brad Pitt : [looks the opposite direction and remains silent]
Zach Galifianakis - Host : I'll tell you when I lost my virginity...
Brad Pitt : I don't really not like to hear that.
Zach Galifianakis - Host : Showers, why don't you take them?
Brad Pitt : [Inhales deeply]
Zach Galifianakis - Host : You play a lot of people that are Nazi haters, which is weird to me
Brad Pitt : Why do you say that?
Zach Galifianakis - Host : Because you look like Hitler's dream.
Brad Pitt : Yes, I understand the conundrum of it all
Zach Galifianakis - Host : Naked pictures of you were in Playgirl magazine many years ago and the only way I know that was my dad got me a subscription when I graduated from junior high school and... anyway tell us about this movie "furry."
Zach Galifianakis - Host : It's "Fury"
Zach Galifianakis - Host : Not "Furry"?
Brad Pitt : No.
Zach Galifianakis - Host : When does that come out on DVD?
Brad Pitt : [thinking and remains silent]
Zach Galifianakis - Host : [Looking around] I got you a gift.
Brad Pitt : [an assistant hand him a long gift wrapped object] You know I'm a dad now.
Zach Galifianakis - Host : That's a bassoon to play with your kids.
Brad Pitt : [Putting it to the side] yeah we don't play a bassoon in my house anymore.
Zach Galifianakis - Host : This is off topic just a bit but do you mind if I borrow one or two of your sperms?
Brad Pitt : No I think that would be inappropriate.