- Erica Goldberg: [Geoff is at her front yard blasting "Alone" by Heart from his boombox] Geoff, what are you doing?
- Geoff Schwartz: I'm proclaiming my love for you. It's from Say Anything, it's how your dorky little brother got a girl way out of his league.
- Erica Goldberg: It's not even the right song!
- Geoff Schwartz: Is it? I never saw it.
- Erica Goldberg: Oh, my God, stop Say Anything-ing me and go home!
- Narrator: Once again, my smother has chained herself to my life and made it really awkward really quick. I had to make it up to Dana, and fast.
- Adam Goldberg: How about a toast? To the world's best mother.
- Beverly Goldberg: [Peeking her head back in] Someone call me? No? Okay, then.
- Adam Goldberg: What about the old expression, "happy mom, happy life"?
- Murray Goldberg: The expression is "happy wife, happy life".
- Adam Goldberg: It rhymes! I knew "Happy mom, happy life" was too clunky! God, I'm such a putz!
- Beverly Goldberg: What's that?
- Murray Goldberg: What's what?
- Beverly Goldberg: That thing, that foot sticking out.
- Murray Goldberg: Oh, that's Adam's baby. I'm using it for lumbar support.
- Erica Goldberg: [the entire JTP is fighting over Erica] Oh my god, Naked Rob is naked under that coat!
- 'Naked' Rob Smith: I wanted you to be the first girl to see me naked!