- Amy Brookheimer: I have bitten my tongue so long, it looks like a dog's cushion. But no more! You have made it impossible to do this job. You have two settings-no decision and bad decision. I wouldn't let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by, but yet here you are running America. You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets and maybe slavery! I've had enough. I'm gone.
- Selina Meyer: [as Amy walks to the door] Well, I guess she's finished with her little...
- [Amy walks back to her]
- Selina Meyer: oh, nope, look at that, there's more.
- Amy Brookheimer: You have achieved nothing apart from one thing. The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents because we tried one and she *fucking sucked*. Goodbye, ma'am.
- Ben Cafferty: You know, um, there's been some very serious allegations coming from the vice president's office about sexual abuse.
- Amy Brookheimer: Have you been sent from the future to destroy me? 'Cause it's working!
- [mockingly]
- Amy Brookheimer: I think that each candidate has merits and demerits, and I don't know my left butt cheek from my right butt cheek, but I believe in listening to both butt cheeks and then farting out my asshole mouth! It's not even bullshit ... bullshitting takes talent.
- Teddy Sykes: So it's true. They hacked the data of thousands of dead kids to directly target bereaved parents with this charming mailer.
- Roger Furlong: Wow, dead kids... . That never sounds good unless you're a stressed-out single mom.
- Selina Meyer: [indicating Owen Pierce on the T.V. screen] Well, he's completely inept, right? But you can make inept work.
- Mike McLintock: True.
- Amy Brookheimer: You can say the same of a potato.