- Gayle: [reading another one of her poems] Little cat, you're just like me. You go outside and squat to pee. Squat! Squat! Squat! Squat!
- Gayle: [while reading her poem] Happy Things We Should Send Into Space. A jar of mayo. Magazine clippings of Scott Baio. That song that starts with "Day-O".
- Linda Belcher: Oh, poopsicles! Louise outflanked us. I think we got to turn up the heat.
- Bob Belcher: You know, I haven't read any parenting books, but I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be in there.
- Linda Belcher: Parenting books? There are parenting books?
- Dr. Yap: [during Tina's dentist check-up] Spotless as always, Tina.
- Tina Belcher: You know, we don't always have to make this about business. I'm more than just a mouthful of perfect teeth.
- Linda Belcher: Maybe it's time for a little creative parenting.
- Bob Belcher: Wait. What do we do, Lin? Bribe her to get the filling?
- Linda Belcher: Bribe Louise? We don't have that kind of money.
- Linda Belcher: It's time to text Tina her first instructions. We're gonna raise Gayle's crazy meter to un-fun levels. Super secret-style, like a ninja.
- Bob Belcher: You know, this whole situation is absurd.
- Linda Belcher: Hey, you got to fight crazy with crazy.
- Bob Belcher: Well, Louise gets this from your side of the family.
- Linda Belcher: You don't think I know that?