Mom (TV Series)
Hepatitis and Lemon Zest (2014)
Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett
Photos
Quotes
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Christy : [Christy has been mugged, but Bonnie does not believe her] I did get mugged!
Bonnie : Sure, you did. Let me guess, he was a big scary looking black guy?
Christy : He was!
Bonnie : Shame on you, Christy!
Christy : It's not my fault he perpetuates a stereotype!
Bonnie : Save it! We don't have time for your racism. Now do we have any cash for our heartless Armenian landlord?
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Bonnie : Well that's it, the sheriff will come in the morning and we'll be evicted.
Christy : I don't want to put the kids through all that.
Christy : [throws open Roscoe's door and turns on the lights] Roscoe, get packed! We're going on a surprise vacation!
Bonnie : [offscreen] Violet, get packed! We're skipping out on the rent!
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Christy : [half whispering at the AA meeting] So what brings you here?
Jill Kendall : [half whispering] Uh, I got a DUI, my husband left me, and I tried to commit suicide.
Christy : [loudly] Oh my God, you're gonna do *great* here!
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Christy : [to her mom and kids after they move into a motel room] Look on the bright side... we get HBO now!
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Christy : [clearing a table] Look at all the stuff they left... this is good scotch! What is wrong with people?
[picks up a half empty glass of wine, downs it]
Christy : Uh oh.
[looks around]
Christy : What's done is done.
[downs scotch, goes to table with INS retirement party, picks up glass and starts drinking]
Christy : They're all in the freezer.
[enters kitchen with a wine bottle and disheveled clothes]
Christy : Okay, which one of you sorry sons of bitches is horny?
[wakes up gasping, runs out to the living room]
Christy : Mom, I had a horrible drunk dream.
Bonnie : [muffled voice] That's okay, honey.
[wrapping a rubber cord around her wrist]
Bonnie : Now be a dear and tie Mommy off.
Christy : [wakes up gasping, runs out to living room, Bonnie's asleep, nudges her] Mom?
Bonnie : [half asleep] What?
Christy : [sighs in relief] Nothing. Just checking.
[goes back to bed]
Bonnie : [pause, turns over wide eyed] What?
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Christy : It felt so real, like I'd just thrown away this whole year.
Marjorie : Slip dreams are very common. I've been sober 33 years and I still have them. In one of them, I snorted blow off Tom Jones' ass.
Christy : Who's Tom Jones?
Marjorie : [glares at her] Thanks for ruining a wonderful dream.