Mary accidentally spills the McCullough secret. Charlie discovers that Loretta didn't resign from the Worldwide Missionary Center as she promised. Martha tells Mary that Adopt O Find has identified her father, who's a Native American. Tom stops by Mary's kitchen with good news, but Martha spoils the atmosphere with an untimely mention of Dennis. Hugh Boswell interviews Mary as a finalist in America's Typical Consumer Housewife Contest. Tom gets drunk again and suggests he and Ed pick up some women at the Capri Lounge.
—Skip Eastport