- Phil Dunphy: Trust me, dancers always get the girls. Remember the great Kevin Bacon from 'Footloose'?
- Luke Dunphy: More like 'Footloser'.
- Phil Dunphy: Careful!
- Luke Dunphy: [after being pulled over by a police officer] This is what you get for lying to me.
- Phil Dunphy: What choice did I have? You used to be up for anything. Now, no matter what I suggest, it's no, no, no.
- Luke Dunphy: It's called growing up and having your own interests, like the minister's daughter in your precious 'Footloose'.
- Phil Dunphy: Wow, using my movie against me.
- [Slow clap]
- Phil Dunphy: Let's hear it for the boy.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: I love the sign!
- Andy Bailey: Uh, I'm not sure. First, I thought just a little accent of color was all it needed, but now I'm thinking balloons.
- Gloria Delgado-Pritchett: Jay, what do you like better, the accent or the balloons?
- Jay Pritchett: I've been asking myself that since I met you.
- Phil Dunphy: [Being led down the hall in the police station] Oh, my God, I don't want to go in there!
- Desk Sergeant: You're going in here.
- Phil Dunphy: I don't want to go in here!