- Cameron Tucker: [about his grandmother] We've never told Gram about the gay. You know, after they reach a certain age, you worry it could be the thing that sends them over the edge, and she's been on the edge for a long time. We're actually on death bed number two.
- Phil Dunphy: Fun family time with this little Newsy and a steak dinner. Who says the people at the closet convention get all the fun?
- Luke Dunphy: No one. No one says that.
- Alex Dunphy: Get her off of me. I'm getting dumb through osmosis.
- Haley Dunphy: I don't have osmosis.
- Jay Pritchett: ClosetCon is the premier North American trade show for the closet industry. I stopped going years ago, 'cause it's a trade show for the closet industry.
- Cameron Tucker: After the initial shock, Gram softened a bit. She even agreed to attend the wedding.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Standing outside with a sign.
- Cameron Tucker: Baby steps, Mitchell. Baby steps.
- Cameron Tucker: What if I told you you *did* have a great-grandbaby?
- Barb Tucker: Cam...
- Cameron Tucker: It's okay, Mama. What if I told you I was in love, and that I've never been happier in my entire life, and that I'm about to get married?
- Grams: I can't think of anything better!
- Cameron Tucker: And what I told you the love of my life is this man standing right here?
- [Hugs Mitchell]
- Grams: Then I'd know why God sent us this tornado.
- Frank Dunphy: [over video chat] Say no more - I'm gonna tap a button now that's either gonna make you larger on my screen or-
- [screen goes black]
- Luke Dunphy: [Solemnly] We've lost Florida.
- Phil Dunphy: [about Jay's Apollo 13 model] Look at the detail. You can almost see the astronauts drinking teeny, tiny Tang.