- Lt. Abbie Mills: You sure you wanna stay in this old cabin? It's a bit of a fixer-upper.
- Ichabod Crane: You and I have very different definitions of old. Seems if a building stays upright for more than a decade, people declare it a national landmark.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [at the entrance to the trail] Here we are. This is where the mail carrier saw Thomas, right near the 'Welcome to Roanoke' sign.
- Ichabod Crane: Yours isn't the first generation to invent sarcasm.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: So who was more sarcastic? Jefferson or Adams?
- Ichabod Crane: Is this more sarcasm?
- Lt. Abbie Mills: No, I'm serious
- Ichabod Crane: I'm not saying.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: Come on. Please!
- Ichabod Crane: I can tell you this. Jefferson had an obsession with puns and Adams kept a notebook of unsavory limericks.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [unconvinced] Seriously?
- Ichabod Crane: Welcome to Roanoke.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: You know, we can spackle the bullet holes. Unless you want to keep them.
- Ichabod Crane: No, no. By all mean, we'll spackle.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: You really believe anything is possible?
- Ichabod Crane: My own circumstances makes me open to the prospect.
- Ichabod Crane: [looking over his purchases] Miss Mills, do you think I look out of place in this century?
- Lt. Abbie Mills: You look good for two-hundred. But a change of clothes wouldn't hurt.