Supernatural (TV Series)
Dog Dean Afternoon (2013)
Jensen Ackles: Dean Winchester
Photos
Quotes
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Dean Winchester : Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?
Colonel the Dog : Yep. Animals have a universal language - like Esperanto. But this one actually caught on.
Pigeon : And I'm just getting started, too. Brewing a real big one. Ha. Bet your ride's gonna look sweet in white.
Sam Winchester : What's he saying?
Dean Winchester : You - He's being a douchebag!
Pigeon : Who are you calling "douchebag", douchebag?
Dean Winchester : Oh, shut it, you winged rat!
Sam Winchester : [Notices people staring] Dude...
Dean Winchester : What?
Sam Winchester : Hey. Just calm down. Just get in the car.
Pigeon : Ha ha. That's right, Sally. Go cry to Mama.
Dean Winchester : [pulls out his gun] Oh, that's it, you son of a bitch!
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Dean Winchester : I always knew I'd find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.
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Dean Winchester : Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags.
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Colonel the Dog : By the way, as an honorary dog, there's something you should know. Dogs aren't really man's best friend.
Dean Winchester : What are you talkin' about?
Colonel the Dog : I know it sounds like a conspiracy theory... but the real reason we were put here was to-
[Colonel's voice suddenly changes as he starts barking]
Dean Winchester : Put here to do what?
[Colonel barks again]
Dean Winchester : Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. *Now* the spell wears off?
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Dean Winchester : You really think the power you hold over other people's lives can make up for what you lack in your own?
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Dean Winchester : Always knew I'd find the source of all evil at a vegan bakery.
Sam Winchester : What's that smell?
Dean Winchester : Patchouli. Yeah, mixed with depression from meat deprivation.
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Dean Winchester : [At Taxidermist shop] All right, well, let's keep digging.
[Spies wide-eyed owl]
Dean Winchester : But, uh, not here. I don't like the way that one's looking at me.
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Dean Winchester : Kevin. Just poured some buffalo milk down his gob twice.
Sam Winchester : Buffalo milk?
Dean Winchester : Yeah, the hangover cure-all. It's got everything in it. Except buffalo milk.
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Sam Winchester : Now the question is, are those bleeding hearts actually witches or just hippies?
Dean Winchester : What's the difference?
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Yorkie : Sure you don't want to adopt me?
Dean Winchester : No, thanks. Uh, we'll pass.
[Starts to walk away]
Yorkie : No, I'm not above licking feet. Hey, big'un! Come back here!
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Sam Winchester : I think it's probably best to just leave The Colonel in the car.
Dean Winchester : Excuse me?
Sam Winchester : Well, all the windows are open.
Dean Winchester : You think we like that?
Sam Winchester : "We"?
Dean Winchester : You think because the windows are open that that's some sort of a treat, huh? No, the dog's coming in.
Colonel the Dog : Respect.
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Sam Winchester : Okay, eat a cheetah liver for speed, bear heart for strength.
Dean Winchester : Okay, so if he's chowing down on this stuff-...
Sam Winchester : ...Then it would make sense why he constricted the taxidermist and clawed the guy at the shelter.
Dean Winchester : [to the mice] Well, no offense, but why would he want to eat you guys?
Mouse 1 : Uh, we have collapsible spines.
Mouse 2 : We do. Promise.
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Dean Winchester : You're sick.
Chef Leo : Been told that once or twice.
Dean Winchester : No, no. Not in the head. Well, you are that, too, but I mean sick like cancer.
Chef Leo : Well, I guess dogs really can sniff it out
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Colonel the Dog : You call this classic rock?
[scoffs]
Colonel the Dog : Next thing you know, they'll be playing Styx. And Dennis DeYoung? A punk.
Dean Winchester : Dennis DeYoung's not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch.
Sam Winchester : Why are you arguing with the dog about Styx?
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Sam Winchester : I think the spell worked. Fact, I think it worked a little too well.
Dean Winchester : What?
Sam Winchester : I think... you might be a dog.
Dean Winchester : [Scratching behind his ear] What?
Sam Winchester : You're scratching your head. You're... barking at the mailman. You're playing fetch.
Dean Winchester : I ---
[Realizes Sam is right]
Dean Winchester : Ruh-roh.
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Dean Winchester : I'm being extorted by a dog.
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Dean Winchester : How long am I gonna have the urge to...
Colonel the Dog : Sniff butts?
Dean Winchester : Oh, whoa. Hey. I don't have the urge to sniff butts.
Colonel the Dog : Yet.
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Sam Winchester : I read this book once about this guy who tried to teach his dog to speak after it witnessed a murder.
Dean Winchester : It worked?
Sam Winchester : No.
Dean Winchester : But he still wrote a book about it?
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Sam Winchester : It makes sense that an animal rights group would have an ax to grind with a taxidermist.
Dean Winchester : Why? The animal's already dead.
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Dean Winchester : What are we talking here, some sort of a freaky-ass snake monster?
Sam Winchester : Maybe. The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.
Dean Winchester : Correction - freaky-ass MEGA snake monster.
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Dean Winchester : [to dog] Hey, boy. You speak sign language?
Sam Winchester : That's monkeys.
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Dean Winchester : What did you do to my brother?
Chef Leo : Your brother? What was your mom smoking when she had you two?
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Yorkie : I saw everything! And I'll tell you, but it'll cost you.
Dean Winchester : What? Are you kidding me?
[to Sam]
Dean Winchester : I'm being extorted by a dog.
[to the Yorkie]
Dean Winchester : Well, what do you want, huh? What? Beggin' strips? Snausages?
Yorkie : If I'm gonna rat someone out, it's got to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub.
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Chef Leo : Sorry. Wolf trumps dog.
Dean Winchester : Maybe. But not a whole pack.
[the dogs from the shelter come to the rescue]
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Sam Winchester : Do we even know how to kill this guy?
Dean Winchester : [Looking at his gun] Well, empty one of these in his head. See what that does.
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Dean Winchester : All right, I'll do it. You got enough on your plate.
Sam Winchester : Like what?
Dean Winchester : [Covering] Uh, like... you're tired. You're on the mend. Okay? Plus, you - you've got a sensitive stomach. Last thing we need is you chucking this stuff up.
[He takes the glass]
Dean Winchester : Doesn't look so bad.
[He drinks the liquid in one gulp]
Dean Winchester : I was wrong.