- Sam Winchester: [to Charlie] So, you've been hunting.
- Dean Winchester: [sternly] Alone.
- Charlie Bradbury: I know. Not a good idea, according to the Supernatural books.
- Sam Winchester: You really can't delete those from the internet?
- Charlie Bradbury: Not even I can do that. I mean, c'mon.
- Dean Winchester: Where do you even find them?
- Charlie Bradbury: A top secret place I call Amazon.
- [Dean looks exasperated]
- Charlie Bradbury: And someone uploaded all the unpublished works. I thought it was fan fic at first, but it was clearly Edlund's work.
- Sam Winchester: Who uploaded it?
- Charlie Bradbury: I don't know. Their screen name was beckywinchester176. Ring a bell?
- [Dean gives Sam a hard, frustrated look]
- Sam Winchester: None. Uh, nobody's. Uh, no, there are no bells. Uh... No.
- Dorothy: I met up with these three freedom fighters. And they thought I was this child of destiny, chosen to kill the Wicked Witch. They protected me. And then the Witch turned them into...
- Charlie Bradbury: A Scarecrow, a Tin Man and a Lion?
- Dorothy: [Nods] And then she hunted me down. And killed me.
- Charlie Bradbury: Yeah, that never made it to the books.
- Dorothy: Sometimes real life is darker than fiction.
- Dean Winchester: I told you to stay in the Dungeon.
- Charlie Bradbury: I bet you say that to all the girls.
- Charlie Bradbury: Do you remember the poppy fields in the first book?
- Dorothy: That's not actually how it happened. It was much bloodier.
- Charlie Bradbury: Stop ruining my childhood.
- Dorothy: You have no idea how odd it is having a series of books written about you.
- Sam Winchester: Actually, I do know. And it is definitely weird.
- Dean Winchester: [Watching Game of Thrones] Wow, that Joffrey's a dick.
- Charlie Bradbury: Oh, you have no idea. Wait until he-...
- Sam Winchester: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Spoilers. I haven't read all the books yet.
- Dean Winchester: You're gonna read the books?
- Sam Winchester: Yes, Dean, I like to read books. You know, the ones *without* pictures?
- Crowley: Well. If it isn't Scarecrow and the Tin-Man. Your new house guest, so misunderstood.
- [Sam and Dean exchange confused looks]
- Crowley: Neither of you saw "Wicked"?
- Sam Winchester: What did she say to you?
- Crowley: Something along the lines of...
- [Makes loud hissing sound]
- Crowley: HSSSSSSAA!
- Charlie Bradbury: Holy crap! The first case investigated in this bunker involved Dorothy. She and the witch came into this room, and they never came out. This will never stop blowing my mind!
- Dean Winchester: Okay, pace yourself, Toto.
- Charlie Bradbury: [Looking for the key to Oz] You keep your porn meticulously organized, but not...
- Dean Winchester: Don't judge me.
- Dean Winchester: The safest place in this joint is the dungeon.
- Charlie Bradbury: You have a dungeon in this place? Of course you do.
- Dean Winchester: So maybe you should...
- Charlie Bradbury: I am not hiding. Especially in a *dungeon*.
- Peter Jenkins: [to the Wicked Witch] So, what do you have to say for yourself?
- Dorothy: Nothing. I cut out her tongue.
- Charlie Bradbury: Big fan.
- Dorothy: Hm.
- Charlie Bradbury: Ozma of Oz...
- Dorothy: Is a total ass.
- Charlie Bradbury: You were much nicer in the books.
- Charlie Bradbury: [about Dorothy's "ruby slippers" - a pair of red stilettos] I don't believe it. Did you really walk down a brick road in these?
- Dorothy: No, I never actually wore them. Seemed kind of tacky wearing a dead woman's shoes.
- Charlie Bradbury: It was just a couple little cases. I took down a teenage vampire and a ghost. Which sounds like a YA novel if you say it out loud.
- Dorothy: When the Witch came to our world, I became a Hunter and my father wrote those silly books.
- Charlie Bradbury: Don't you get it? The books aren't silly, they're guide books, filled with clues he left for you. Haggerty poured through each one, and his research led him to uncover the poppies. So maybe there's something else from the books we can use. Preferably something with a pointy end.
- Dorothy: Typical Men of Letters. Standing around having a nice little chat, with your noses buried in your books while your little secretary takes notes.
- Dean Winchester: We're Hunters.
- Charlie Bradbury: And who are you calling a secretary?
- James Haggerty: It took three years to build this dump?
- Peter Jenkins: Dump?
- [Scoffs]
- Peter Jenkins: Dump? Are you kidding? Do you realize where we are? This... this "dump" is the last true beacon of light in a world gone topsy-turvy. This dump is the epicenter of the ultimate chess match between Good and Evil.
- [Cut to Six Months Later]
- Peter Jenkins: What a dump.
- Crowley: Sorry. This litter box is warded against everything. Even Wicked Witches. Big fan. Love your work.
- Dorothy: So you coming or what?
- Charlie Bradbury: What? With you? To Oz?
- Dorothy: Yeah, you said you were looking for adventure. Well, here it is, Red. Come help me find my damn dog.
- Dean Winchester: [after Charlie goes to Oz with Dorothy] Think she'll be back?
- Sam Winchester: Of course. There's no place like home.
- Charlie Bradbury: Saving people. Hunting things. The family business? I am down. But I was raised on Tolkein, man. I mean, where is all this?
- [Holds up Game of Thrones DVD]
- Charlie Bradbury: Where are my White Walkers, and my volcano and magic ring to throw in the damn thing?
- [sighs]
- Charlie Bradbury: Where's my quest?
- Sam Winchester: Magic? Quests? *Suck*. Trust me.
- Dean Winchester: [Possessed by the witch] You'll join Dorothy right after you watch her die.
- Charlie Bradbury: Sorry about the nards, Dean.
- [Kicks him in the balls]
- Dorothy: Now, I have tried cutting off her head, burning her, dousing her with holy water. All she did was laugh. Nothing I know of can kill her. So I'm here as a last resort. I was hoping you stiffs have a way to kill someone from Oz.
- Peter Jenkins: Well, of course we do. W-we have to. This place is the last true beacon of light...
- Dorothy: All right. Just open your damn books already.
- Charlie Bradbury: Thanks for the slumber party. And for bringing me back from the dead.
- Dean Winchester: Uh, I didn't...
- Charlie Bradbury: Don't BS a BSer. Am I a zombie now? Do I need to eat brains?
- Dean Winchester: No. *No*.
- Dean Winchester: You have no idea what's in Oz. I mean, t-there's flying monkeys, armies of witches. There's all kinds of danger.
- Charlie Bradbury: [Smiles] Promise?
- [Hugs him]
- Sam Winchester: If you need anything, just tap your heels together three times, okay?
- Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester: [Possessed by the witch, voices are dark and distorted] There you are.
- Charlie Bradbury: Was that your Batman voice?
- [Their eyes glow]
- Charlie Bradbury: That's definitely not your Batman voice!
- Charlie Bradbury: I had the weirdest dream when I was out. It... It was Christmas and my parents were still alive and...
- Dorothy: Dream? Charlie, you died.
- [Charlie stares]
- Dorothy: Don't worry about it, though. You're not a real hunter until you've died and come back again.
- Sam Winchester: I'm sorry I haven't hung up the "Hang in there, Kitty" poster yet, Dean. Feel free to redecorate.
- Dean Winchester: So, what, our home's not good enough for the "Hang in there, Kitty" poster?
- Sam Winchester: This isn't our home; this is where we work.
- Dean Winchester: What's the difference?
- Sam Winchester: I haven't that much luck with homes.
- Dorothy: Me neither. Overrated, you ask me. Yellow bricks or not, give me the open road any day.
- Sam Winchester: [about Kevin] How's he feeling?
- Dean Winchester: Well, he stared at the Angel Tablet and repeated the word 'falafel' for the entire ride.