- Reese Lansing: I think your resignation should be accepted immediately and we should write Dantana a check and get to the business of rebooting this once respected brand.
- Charlie Skinner: Then why don't you?
- Reese Lansing: My mom says I can't.
- MacKenzie McHale: I need you to change my Wikipedia page.
- Neal Sampat: Sure.
- MacKenzie McHale: I checked, and for some reason, it says I was president of the Oxford Union.
- Neal Sampat: Weren't you?
- MacKenzie McHale: [Disapprovingly] No. I went to Cambridge.
- Neal Sampat: Right. I knew that.
- MacKenzie McHale: Do you know who else went to Cambridge? John Milton, Charles Darwin, Jane Goodall, Alan Turing, E.M. Forster, Stephen Hawking, the King of Jordan, Prime Minister of India, and three signatories to the Declaration of Independence.
- Will McAvoy: Mac, I wonder if you can switch me off. You're screaming names of smart people in my ear.
- MacKenzie McHale: Sorry.
- Will McAvoy: They teach you that at Oxford?
- Don Keefer: You are a member of a godless, soulless race of extortionists.
- Rebecca Halliday: That's fair.
- Neal Sampat: I know how you feel.
- MacKenzie McHale: I don't think you do. Because, no one's out there saying you were president of the Oxford Union when you were president of the Cambridge Union, the greatest debating society in the history of the fucking kingdom. And that kingdom's been around a long time.
- Neal Sampat: Don't I know it.
- MacKenzie McHale: I don't even know if that was a sarcastic geopolitical reference to colonialism or not.
- Neal Sampat: It wasn't.
- Neal Sampat: Sprechen jedermann hier Deutsch?
- Gary Cooper: Ich tun
- Neal Sampat: Not as well as you think. Come with me.
- Gary Cooper: Shit.
- Sloan Sabbith: I need the name and contact information of the person who bought the book.
- Neal Sampat: Tonight?
- Sloan Sabbith: You need to hurry before the trail gets cold.
- Neal Sampat: You think the book may have been bought by a bank robber?
- Sloan Sabbith: Look at my face.
- Neal Sampat: I know.
- Sloan Sabbith: Does it seem like I one want to be sassed?
- Neal Sampat: It does not.