Family Guy (TV Series)
The Simpsons Guy (2014)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Roger the Alien, Kool-Aid Man
Photos
Quotes
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Brian Griffin : Ah, I guess we're in a town called Springfield.
Stewie Griffin : Springfield, eh, which state?
Brian Griffin : I can't imagine we are allowed to say.
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Peter Griffin : [Homer strangles Peter] Ow, what the hell? That really hurts.
Homer Simpson : No, it doesn't. I do it to my son all the time.
Peter Griffin : You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time.
Homer Simpson : That's *your* son!
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Peter Griffin : [soaring across Springfield Gorge in a UFO] We're gonna make it!
Homer Simpson : Trust me, we're not.
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Lois Griffin : Oh, this Springfield place looks nice. We should visit here again.
Brian Griffin : I dunno, Lois. This seems like a one-shot deal.
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Peter Griffin : [after Homer drinks some Pawtucket Patriot Ale] That's pretty good, right?
Homer Simpson : No.
Peter Griffin : Huh?
Homer Simpson : It's not good. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. It's just a lousy ripoff!
Peter Griffin : Hey, whoa whoa whoa! It's not a ripoff of Duff! It may have been inspired by Duff, but I... I like to think it goes in a different direction.
Homer Simpson : No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse.
Peter Griffin : Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talkin' about. Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood.
Moe Szyslak : [snatches the bottle of beer] Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud. Look at this!
[rips the Pawtucket Patriot Ale off the label revealing a Duff label]
Moe Szyslak : Huh?
Homer Simpson : [gasps] It is Duff!
[to Peter]
Homer Simpson : Your beer is in big trouble! You can't just slap a new label on something and call it your own!
Peter Griffin : Well, maybe Duff should be in trouble for... You know, not being that great.
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Brian Griffin : Peter, you should see this. Your dishwasher cartoon has really outraged the online community.
Peter Griffin : What? Gosh, it's not like the internet to go crazy about something small and stupid.
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Meg Griffin : I MATTER!
Peter Griffin : Shut up, Meg, you don't matter!
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Homer Simpson : If we're gonna find your car, we've got to think like a car. So let's fill up at that gas station.
[a few moments later, they're both woozy from drinking gasoline]
Peter Griffin : I feel sick.
Homer Simpson : Keep drinking. I prepaid forty bucks.
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Stewie Griffin : [doing a prank phone call] Hey, Moe. Your sister is being raped!
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Chris Griffin : Dad, how long until we can go back home?
Peter Griffin : Um, I don't know. How long do women hold grudges? Not very long, I'm guessing.
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Homer Simpson : [End of 'chicken fight' and ready to drop a boulder on Peter's head] Say 'hello' to Maude Flanders.
Peter Griffin : [notices UFO is dislodging and going to fall on Homer] No. You say 'hello' to Muriel Goldman.
Homer Simpson : Who?
[UFO falls and smashes Homer into the ground. Peter walks into the sunset through Springfield Gorge]
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Stewie Griffin : He's like something out of Mark Twain.
Brian Griffin : Whose real name was Samuel Clemens.
Stewie Griffin : How... how does that further this conversation?
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Peter Griffin : [gloating] It appears that now I am the only one with radioactive powers, which will allow me to -
[loses powers]
Peter Griffin : Oh, I talked too long!
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Stewie Griffin : I know Apu's not your enemy, I just wanted to say, "I took Apu."
Bart Simpson : [giggless] That IS funny - but the rest of this is messed up, man!