The Rohl Farms Haunting (2013) User Reviews

Disappointed as it started off well

[bks-508-290401 · 4/10 · 5 June 2016]

I love found footage films, I find them quite terrifying when done properly. They're claustrophobic and creepy, you never know what will be standing there when you turn the camera round. I thought this film started off very well, quite tense early on, with the stress levels gradually rising at a nice pace.

Luke was likable, just a working class bloke trying to keep his parent's farm going. He was very natural in front of the camera, and believable. Cordero started off OK, although if someone was shoving a camera in my face all the time it'd get on my wick fast.

As the film wore on, the word "haunting" in the title is misleading as it's not ghosts at all. The three masked figures are nice and creepy from a distance, but look silly up close. Cordero started to really grate on my last nerve, he was whining constantly in a really droning, nasally voice, and he didn't. shut. up. EVER. I had to mute my TV now and then because I couldn't stand it. And considering how great he thought he was at film making, he was waving the camera around like no tomorrow. His car went missing and he felt the need to sweep the ground with the camera fifteen times, just to emphasise that the car was gone. It made me feel seasick.

Some of the stupid things both men did bugged me a bit. If your shotgun goes missing in the middle of a home invasion, surely there must be a knife or other weapon around somewhere? Neither of them felt the need to arm themselves? Luke was a big chap, but against three people?

Anyway, I did enjoy this in the sense that it jangled my nerves, but there were so many things that annoyed me, so I haven't rated it very highly. Nothing was explained at all, which isn't always a bad thing, but I hope there won't be a sequel. I definitely wouldn't watch it if there is.

Waste of Time is Right

[wandernn1-81-683274 · 2/10 · 2 December 2019]

-2 Stars Bad Storyline.

-1 No Payoff / Bad Ending.

Pretty much a complete waste of time.

Another waste of time found footage movie

[Leofwine_draca · 2/10 · 20 July 2016]

I guess I'll continue to remain a fan of the found footage genre no matter how many bad films I watch. THE ROHL FARMS HAUNTING is certainly a poor addition to the genre that very few people are going to get a kick out of it, aside from perhaps the people who made it. This is a cheapie independent production that suffers from an almost entire lack of script, which means all of the dialogue is ad-libbed by the guys who star in it.

What this means is that 99% of the running time consists of a couple of guys wandering around empty farm buildings at night, trying to convince the viewer that some kind of evil spirit is lurking on the premises. Sadly the actors aren't very good and seem devoid of imagination when delivering their dialogue, which is stilted and repetitive. The cameraman in particular seems to whine and complain a lot which doesn't make for a very engaging viewing experience.

In terms of the horror stuff, very little happens, aside from a few spooky moments captured in the background of shots. That granddaddy of the genre, BBC's GHOSTWATCH, runs rings around this production. I admit that the isolated setting is an effective one and with the right material this could have been an extra-creepy viewing experience, but sadly there's too little meat to the story for this to work.

Why? Give the viewers some clues please.

[chocolatebunnykins · 1/10 · 25 May 2016]

We watch a lot of horror/scary movies, both good and bad, unfortunately this didn't fall into the good category. Hand held camera, found footage has been done a lot in movies, especially when the budget is limited, I normally don't mind them as long as there is a good plot and a character to root for, I just didn't find that here. I may have missed something but the movie is about a documentary maker but by the end of the movie I still wasn't sure what the documentary was about, I'm guessing the documentary makers farmer friend who lost both his parents (how did they die? We are just the viewer why would we want to know that). The characters throughout the movie make poor decisions, for example, let's leave the door unlocked and windows open and let's leave our only gun by the unlocked front door and expect it to still be there later (spoiler alert: it wasn't). My favourites, let's run off into the darkness outside separately and let's not bother picking up anything to defend ourselves with from the strange people who are trying to scare us. My biggest annoyance was why are the characters in the masks doing any of it, the movie had no revelation at the end or story unravelling and each time you think something good or interesting is about to happen it just doesn't. The only positive was that the people in masks were a bit creepy, is that enough?

Not bad but...

[nickgallaway · 5/10 · 28 October 2018]

....was the Cordero character supposed to be so annoying. By the end i was cheering for the Cordero character to get whacked (not that its clear in the end if he indeed did or not.) Just saying.

A million miles from Hollywood

[nogodnomasters · 1/10 · 28 March 2018]

It seems like a couple of nice Catholic guys with potty mouths who love cheap beer made this film...not that those are bad things, I'm just saying. The haunting of the farm didn't come across as a real haunting as much as it was pranksters. There was zero special effects. At no time did I feel any excitement or being entertained. Camera being jerked around and I failed to see the significance of 11:55 or the deceased parents. No connections were made to anything other than this being a hoax concocted by Roman. They advertise "With real locations, real people, and real relationships, this is the realest found footage film you will ever experience." Yes it was as real as my life. Unfortunately my life is boring too.

One Star is being generous

[HerrSupahz · 1/10 · 14 February 2016]

Well, this was awful. It combines all the negative qualities of a low budget horror movie without any of the good parts of being a scary movie. So basically it's a high school-grade non-scary scary movie with a 5-minute plot and Golden Raspberry-level acting. I'd be surprised if you didn't want the "good guys" to get offed well before the movie was over.

It's hard to imagine giving away "spoilers" for this movie, I'm not sure how you would do it given how bad the enterprise is. But, just in case, some of this could be considered a spoiler: there's no plot, no haunting, no acting, no monsters, no effects, no story, no point. Several things get put out there which might make you think things are connected... Luke's parents being dead, the 11:55 each night happenings, the previous documentary... but nothing is brought together. It's like taking a fistful of possible plot points and throwing them in a script without any of them meaning anything. In some films, the idea of "let the audience figure it out" is fine, but this is not one of those films.

There is one marginally creepy scene in the movie, at 1:09:45ish... Luke and Cordero are freaking out as the masked entities are closing in, and Cordero sets the camera down on the dining room table. You see the curtains in the back while the two talk, and if you keep watching the scene you'll see a dark figure move away when their backs are turned. He/she was in the house... oooooooh. Not exactly gripping stuff, but if there had been more of this sort of thing maybe I could give the film some creepiness credit.

Also, apparently Cordero's girlfriend played one of the antagonists? I speculate after looking at the cast list, which credits Creep #1 and #2, but not #3. I don't know if that's somehow supposed to be a plot point, or just a matter of saving a few pennies to pay someone else to be in the film. I suspect the latter.

I watched this for free through Prime, and while I am very glad I didn't spend a cent to watch it, I do feel like the time could have been better used cleaning litter boxes or watching water boil.

Negative stars

[jfost75 · 1/10 · 14 September 2019]

I have seen some pretty awful movies in my day but none of them have been as awful as this one. It's basically like the writer, f you want to call them that, took the script from the strangers and decided to remake it with a home movie camera. Am I the only 1 who noticed that the female "creep" has the same nail polish as the directors girlfriend? The entire movie feels like someone stumbled upon some discount Halloween masks and decided that they had an afternoon to kill so they would make a movie. There's no plot, the script is less than horrible, and ultimately there was nothing redeeming about this experience. Save yourself the misery and just bang your head against a wall for an hour.

A charming effort

[bzbanks · 7/10 · 27 April 2024]

I watch a lot of cheaply-made found footage films, and I'm always dismayed to see how angry and discouraging reviewers can be. Do you not know what you're getting into? SFX and sharp editing are anathema to the genre. Some stories are better than others, some acting, too, of course. But you're either a fan or you're not.

This little movie comes across as pretty genuine. The actors are almost all very real, the dialogue unrehearsed. Luke has me convinced he's a real farmer, and Cordero is definitely a child with delusions of grandeur. The ending suuuuuucks, and I probably would have added a star if the camera had just cut off 5 minutes earlier. Still, these filmmakers are younger than any of my own kids, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Boring. Boring, boring, boring.

[mary-laking · 1/10 · 29 September 2019]

I kept waiting for something to happen....a lot of stuff about being a farmer, two friends droning on....I confess I didn't watch till the end. I think the worst part was the lack of pace - the film went at a slow meander and didn't seem to be heading anywhere so yes, I gave up. Lack of tension is a killer.

Painful

[jcravealot · 1/10 · 27 August 2019]

This documentary is long, drawn out and boring! Over halfway through the movie these young slovenly guys were still just talking about themselves and other unrelated subjects. I kept fast forwarding, but it didn't get any better- just more painful to watch.

Hi

[hotncute-27691 · 5/10 · 28 June 2020]

They ever find luke and cordero Heres another tbing When they say cordero roman i tbink Tbey shouldve had iroman cirdero His nane sounds better If it were roman cordero Not cordero roman Jst sayin

Stupid!!!!

[africe · 1/10 · 1 March 2020]

I couldn't even get through it. I fell asleep once and tried to continue. Got another 10 minutes and gave up. IDIOTIC!!!!!

You can run, you can hide...

[tmccull52 · 1/10 · 25 September 2021]

... but apparently, you can't make a decent movie. Is it a haunting? Is it idiots wearing masks playing pranks? Is it some doofus named Shuster who just shows up about three quarters of the way through the movie to smoke weed on the Rohl Farm property?

What it is, is a pack of idiots who don't have the first clue about making even the most rudimentary "found footage" horror movie. One of the absolutely stupidest low budget horror movies that I've ever seen was some turd called "Dark Aatachment". I honestly did not think that I'd ever see another movie that could rival "Dark Attachment " for sheer inanity and utter idiocy. Congratulations, "Luke" and "Cordero", you proved yourselves up to the task.

Luke stumbles around for the majority of the movie like he's on a perpetual beer buzz, and Cordero has all of the professionalism and charm of a hemmorhoid. He's whiny. He's bitchy. He's anything but a prospective film maker. I've had difficult bowel movements that were better produced and more enjoyable than this movie. Anyone that was in any way responsible for the production of this farce should be somehow legally barred from ever participating in the production of another movie... ever. It sucked on a galactic level.