- Bud Wurstner: She gave it to me for my birthday. Last Christmas. My birthday's on Christmas. Like Jesus. Bye.
- Monroe: This one has a lengthy treatise on Ziegevolk anatomy, but the author seems mostly interested in rehashing the old "three versus four stomachs" debate.
- Nick Burkhardt: That's a debate?
- Monroe: Oh, yeah.
- Nick Burkhardt: I need to talk to her.
- Monroe: You've been talking to her all day in her head, man. I think she's kinda "Nick'd" out.
- Monroe: [On the phone] Hey, are you busy?
- Nick Burkhardt: Why?
- Monroe: I think you need to get down to the courthouse on sixth.
- Nick Burkhardt: And what's the problem?
- Monroe: Oh, nothing much. Just some rampant witness and jury tampering.