- Gomez Addams: At this rate, if Pugsley rides Bones in the Derby, he'll ruin the good name of the Addams Family. It's not good form to win. Oh, what have I done?
- Colonel Muldoon: Well, I'm gonna be honest with you. What you're looking at is a pathetic, beat up, worn out old critter.
- Morticia Addams: Exactly my feeling.
- Gomez Addams: Pathetic.
- Pugsley Addams: Beat up.
- Morticia Addams: Worn out.
- Gomez Addams: We'll take him. How much?
- Colonel Muldoon: I wouldn't take your money. Now, right over here, we have...
- Gomez Addams: How much?
- Colonel Muldoon: Twenty.
- Gomez Addams: Thirty.
- Colonel Muldoon: Sold.
- Colonel Muldoon: My, you certainly know how to drive a hard bargain. Here you are, sir. Thirty thousand dollars.
- [Muldoon'ss assiociate faints, followed by Muldoon himself]