- Lorraine Lyon: Well, either you got a screw loose, or somebody came for you and you got away... and now you're lying about it.
- Dorothy 'Dot' Lyon: Mom...
- Lorraine Lyon: No. I'm not your mom. You're married to my son, mother to my granddaughter. I wanted a girl with papers, but my Wayne always liked a sassy thing with a tight caboose, so here you are.
- Dorothy 'Dot' Lyon: Haven't you ever had one of those days? So what if I do got a screw loose? Stress and the like. I'm holding up my end of the deal. We're man and wife, him and me, and he loves me.
- Lorraine Lyon: There are ways we could change that. The holy bond. Revocation of the trust. And cut you both out of the will, see if that moves the marker.
- Dorothy 'Dot' Lyon: What are you saying?
- Lorraine Lyon: I'm saying I don't trust you. You're up to something. And I won't have you dragging my son down. So... best you make excuses, you go back to whoever it is you were before you met. If you go easy, I could even see my way to... staking you for the first... two years.
- [pause]
- Dorothy 'Dot' Lyon: [loses Minnesota accent] Listen, bitch... I've climbed through six kinds of hell to get where I am. And no Ivy League royal wannabe is gonna run me off just because she doesn't like the way I smell. If you want to tussle with me... you better sleep with both eyes open. Because nobody takes what's mine and lives.
- [resumes accent]
- Dorothy 'Dot' Lyon: Anyhoo... thanks for stopping by. Dinner Sunday? I'll bring my blue salad.
- Roy Tillman: Maybe you weren't paying attention, but I am the law around here.
- Agent Meyer: So you said.
- Roy Tillman: Removable only by the governor or my constituents, who love me, by the way, because I say what I want and I do what I please. And I know the difference between right and wrong.
- Agent Joaquin: Don't you mean legal and illegal?
- Roy Tillman: [chuckles] Well... did you know in North Dakota, it is illegal for a charitable group to hold more than two poker games a year? And similarly, it is illegal to keep an elk in a sandbox in your own backyard, I shit you not. Now, if you were to own a tavern and serves beer and pretzels at the same time, I could arrest you. And in Waverly, the law forbids horses from sleeping in bathtubs. You beginning to get the drift here? I'm a sheriff of the American constitution. Bound by duty, blood, and tradition to enforce what is right and to prosecute what is wrong. And the law, my friends... has very little to do with it. So, Ja-queen, Mrs. Ja-queen, if you'll excuse me, I have some justice to administer.
- Roy Tillman: I was sheriff of this county when I was 25. Hard to believe. Grandfather was a sheriff. Father, too. Ranchers all. Working the land through times flush and fallow. There's a natural order to things. We know it in our bones. Jesus was a man, not some bearded lady. And just as water flows downhill, a husband is head of his household. Under him, the woman abides. She holds her virtue close until that matrimonial threshold is crossed, and then she opens to him, as the flower opens to the sun. And in exchange, the man shelters and protects his female, as the sword has its sheath. Okay, but what I'm saying is, you... No. He only raises his hand to her when she forgets her place and acts the man. And-and then only for instruction, never taking any pleasure or satisfaction from the task. Whereas you, son, seem to have played a Tommy Lee drum solo all over your missus's facade.
- Roy Tillman: Go home. Fix a meal. Pray on it before you take the first bite. Forgiveness. Tend to his burns. Try to be deferential. Cater to his needs as a man with your mouth in order to sow harmony. I'll come by in the morning, see if the lesson stuck.
- Gator Tillman: Freedom.
- Roy Tillman: Amen.
- Agent Meyer: You know, I hear that word a lot out here. I'm curious... what you think it means.
- Roy Tillman: Agent, if you don't know what freedom is, I don't think me saying the words out loud is gonna teach you.
- Roy Tillman: Come here. Take comfort, dear. Daughter, these hard times are over. All right? I'll see to your husband's instruction myself.
- Josh Hunk: What 'struction?
- Roy Tillman: Now, be honest. Do you ever question your man's supremacy when he speaks?
- Lenore Hunk: Just when he drinks or with the crank, you know? I try to stay out of the way, but... Don't hurt him. We got three boys who need a daddy.
- Roy Tillman: Okay